Critical Mass

It's Not a Tumor!

2012-01-25T22:04:00.000-06:00

Last October, right before my birthday, I went in for my yearly eye exam. I got the whole shebang: glaucoma test, dilation, visual field test. That's the one where you put your head in this kind of space egg thingy and click a buzzer every time you see a little flash of light. It uses magic and computer programming to map out your vision and show any blind spots.

Imagine my chagrin when I failed the visual field. At first I just chalked it up to crappy genes and encroaching old age, but my kind doctor informed me that there shouldn't be significant changes in the visual field unless you have glaucoma or an eye injury. Then she said, "It might be (insert scary medical term that means BRAIN TUMOR here). You need to come back in three months for a re-check. If it continues to get worse, you will need to see a neurologist. But don't worry about it."

Yeah, right. Happy birthday to me!

I had to have several awkward conversations that went something like, "Guess what! I might have a brain tumor!" To which my husband/sisters/friends looked at me blankly and waited for the punch line. Good times.

Luckily, the crazy holiday season did a pretty good job of keeping my mind off of it.

So today was the day of the big re-exam. It's not a tumor! My test came back consistent with all the visual field tests I had taken before last October. That test was an anomaly. It could have been that my eyes were dilated, or that I was dehydrated, or hormonal. Whatever. All is well now. Whew!

Trailer Trash

2012-01-25T21:27:00.000-06:00

The ranch has been in the family for about ten years now. So it has been ten years since we set up our base of operations: a mobile home. A very nice mobile home (Seriously! It looks just like a house on the inside with drywall and everything!), but a trailer none the less. Well, the ranch is in west Texas - the land of no trees. There are wind farms down the road from us. In a word: windy. Very windy.

All that wind has started taking its toll. We have lost a shingle or two. The time has come for a little maintenance. My father-in-law was planning a trip to the home improvement store to pick up some replacement shingles.

Now, my FIL is an eminent physician. A pioneer is his field. Before he left for the store, he turned to us and asked without a hint of irony, "Do you think we should put some tires up there to hold the shingles down?"

I just about died laughing and then realized he wasn't joking.

Transition to redneck complete.

Finding Balance

2012-01-17T12:43:00.001-06:00

Lest you think this is some high minded new year's resolution post, um, nope. If that is what you are searching for, move right along and I'll catch you next time. This here post is about MAH BAYBEE!

It was a banner day at Casa Critical Mass yesterday. It was the day that I took the training wheels off of Z's bike. As soon as I got them off she just took off down the driveway without a care in the world.

I can't believe my sweet baby girl is big enough to take off on two wheels! I am so proud! And also, quit growing up so fast! You are my little girl! But with every day she gets a little more independent and I get glimpses of the person she will be some day. Sob! (Sunrise, Sunset playing softly in the background.)

Ahem.

About the time she got to the end of the driveway, she went, "Oh, wow! I don't have training wheels!" and "I don't know how to turn!" and had a mini panic. The more she thought about it, the more wobbly she got. All of a sudden, she was pushing herself along with her feet instead of pedaling. Maybe college isn't so close after all.

I was really proud of her determination to master this new skill. Since we took the trainers off, she has clocked about 100 miles around the driveway and the bottom of the cul de sac. Now she is begging to take a longer bike ride around the neighborhood. That's my girl!

Thinking Small

2012-01-05T09:51:00.000-06:00

So. December happened. Wow. Holy over commitment, Batman! Even though I got all of my shopping done well in advance, we barely managed to get the tree decorated in time. Never the less, Christmas was great. Kids had a blast. Much food was consumed. Great times with family and friends. And then it was over.

Now it is that time of year when we feel the need to make resolutions. Huh.

I don't currently have the mental wherewithal to make plans for an entire year, so maybe I will just make resolutions for this week. Yeah, that sounds more manageable.

Get out of bed. I know this doesn't sound like much, but given the super-bug my kids gave me for Christmas, it is a SUPER big deal. For the last three days I have been just this side of comatose while the kids were in school. Staying awake when your body demands rest is more difficult than you would think. Luckily, we were well stocked with mac and cheese and frozen pizza, because I couldn't manage any real cooking.
Make a recycling run. Wester doesn't have curbside recycling (DRAG!), but I still try to do my part. The post Christmas packaging is taking over my ~~personal garbage dump~~ laundry room. If I don't take care of it soon, my husband is going to have a planet-bashing hissy fit and throw it all in the dumpster.
Clean the master bathroom. It is just not right that I am required to dust my bathroom. (My mom used to say that dust shouldn't happen to good people. I couldn't agree more.) But out here in the windy desert southwest, enough dust to write your name in accumulates over night. Add some steam and hair products and you get almost instant yuck.
Write two posts on this here blog. Hey, already halfway there! Chica is disgusted with my lack of writing, and I can feel my brain melting from lack of use.

That sounds like a manageable week. Maybe.

The Day I Became My Mother

2011-11-29T08:52:00.000-06:00

My mom was a good mother. She got all of the big things right. High expectations? Check. Unconditional love? Check. Balanced meals? Checkity check.

Her attention to detail? Well... you can't be good at everything.

I may have mentioned that I was the third child. And Mom was tired. One of those little details that fell through the cracks? Socks. I was always scrambling for socks. Specifically, matching knee socks to wear to Sunday school. If I found a pair, one was reliably stretched out and sagging around my ankle. As a result, I swore that my child would never have this problem.

Fast forward to this morning.

Z: Mom? The only socks in my drawer have gray on them.

Me: Humph? Zzzzpth. (I'm not a morning person.)

Z: The gray is going to show with my Mary Janets! (aka: Mary Janes. How cute is that?)

Me: What happened to all of your socks? If you would just put them in the hamper... (devolves into incoherent grumbling).

Z: I don't know. All I have are the gray ones.

Me: (hangs head and sighs) Get some out of the dirty clothes hamper.

*****

And if fully becoming my mother wasn't enough for one morning? Five minutes later this conversation happens.

Z: Mom? All my panties are pinching me. Can I just not wear any today?

Me: (Brain explodes and I die. The end.)

Post Script: It was underwear day at the Mother Ship (Target) today. Socks and underwear for everyone! LOTS of socks and underwear.

Thankful 2011 - Days 23 - 27

2011-11-27T18:13:00.000-06:00

23. I am thankful that I had completed my grocery shopping and didn't have to hit the H.E.B. the day before Thanksgiving. Whew!
24. I am thankful for my family, both immediate and extended. We had a lovely time at my aunt and uncle's house. The kids really enjoyed the day with their cousins - and so did I!
25. I am thankful the stomach bug waited to hit until we had arrived at the ranch (as opposed to in transit).
26. I got nothing. One completely unused day. Okay, I am thankful for my mother-in-law who watched my hooligans while I was dead to the world sleeping off the stomach bug.
27. I am thankful to be back home. Being sick away from your own bed is the pits! I am mostly well now (about 80%), but am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.

Thanksgiving Memories

2011-11-24T00:01:00.001-06:00

I am thankful to be part of such a wonderful family. We are spending the day with my aunt, uncle, and cousins, but here are some pictures of favorite moments from years past.

Sister L and Bro R are the hosts with the most.

My sweet husband on our first Turkey Day

Daddy frying the turkey...

then sleeping it off with Z.

Parents,

In-laws,

Sisters,

Kids.

A good time was had by all!

I hope you and your lil' pilgrims

have a great Thanksgiving!

I know we will!

Thankful 2011 - Days 19 - 22

2011-11-22T23:40:00.000-06:00

19. I am thankful for family date night: a DVD and pizza with the hubs and chillies. Captain America was a big hit - even if Z & Q fell asleep before it was over.
20. I am thankful that I can finally, Finally, FINALLY get the air compressor out of my kitchen because I AM DONE UPHOLSTERING THE WING BACK CHAIRS!!! (Pictures coming soon! I am frantically sewing seat cushions.)
21. I am thankful for my good friends who put up with my preference of McD's over Chic-Fil-A (it's just so crowded!) for rainy day play dates.
22. I am thankful for the tireless efforts of my cousin-in-law for arranging a wonderful gingerbread house decorating party at the local Children's Museum. I am not sure if our structure is still standing, but my kids had a sugar-buzzing good time!

Thankful 2011 - Day 17 & 18

2011-11-18T21:51:00.001-06:00

17. I am thankful for my Aqua Zumba class. I get all the fun of Zumba without anyone ever seeing my legs - which is good. It is really hard to keep the rhythm with all that resistance! Luckily, none of the little 'ol biddies can either! A super workout. My calves? Are mooing.

18. I am thankful for my friend, Bun, who is keeping me accountable to my exercise regime. The goal this week: hit the gym four times. DONE! I am also thankful for the awesome sub we had for class this morning. She was a salty 65+ gal in a leopard print swimsuit and giant dangle earrings. She had big boobs hiked up to her chin and a J-Lo booty. Best workout I have ever had in that class. I want to be her when I grow up!

Thankful 2011 - Day 16

2011-11-16T21:20:00.001-06:00

Today I am thankful for fun packages that come in the mail. I ordered a cute pair of boots from Jessica London - on super sale, no less - and they arrived today. SO cute! And comfy like slippers! Huzzah!

Thankful 2011 - Days 1-15

2011-11-15T16:37:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I'm a little late getting started, but I still have a LOT to be thankful for! So, here goes for the first half of the month:

1. As much as I love it, I am thankful Halloween is over for another year. If any more candy comes into this house, I am going to turn into a Thanksgiving float.
2. I am thankful that I got a haircut that suits me better. I cut off two more inches and if looks SO much better!
3. I am thankful for my yearly trip to San Diego to visit Sister K. This year, I am especially thankful for a trip to R Gang featuring gourmet tater tots, a visit with the chef and birthday cake flavored vodka - it was my birthday. For which I am grudgingly thankful. Definitely better than the alternative!
4. I am thankful for excellent pedicures, a trip to Direct Buy that is going to save me thousands of dollars on the upcoming kitchen remodel, and for an amazing experience of a dinner with Sister K, her hubs and his super fun family.
5. I am thankful for a WHOLE day at the beautiful Grand Del Mar Spa. OMG. It was completely amazing!
6. I am thankful for the opportunity to spend a rainy Sunday with Sister K - even if we did get wet at the beach.
7. I am thankful for technology. Specifically, my Kindle and my iPad. They kept me occupied throughout a long day of travel.
8. I am thankful for my wonderful mom-in-law who watched my kiddos while I was in Cali - with Z barfing her head off and Q getting four shots. She is so awesome!
9. I am thankful for my fun new cell phone. It is taking up WAY too much of my time.
10. I am thankful that my husband's boss was not overtly judgmental of my housekeeping when he STAYED AT MY HOUSE with only two days notice. (NOT thankful the hubs didn't give me more notice!)
11. I am thankful for my own personal IT department who made my Bluetooth earpiece talk to the new fun cell phone. Thanks, Brother M!
12. I am thankful for Gigi's Cupcakes and the friends and occasions to share them. (Happy birthday, CJ!)
13. I am thankful for a lazy day in my PJ's and spending time with my DVR.
14. I am thankful for Z's excellent school. She came home with all A's on her mid-term report. Go Z!
15. I am thankful that one of Q's teachers thinks he's really smart - and that his behavioral mishaps might be a product of being bored. That's way better than just thinking he is a bad seed!

More thankful tomorrow!

Halloween Humor

2011-10-31T00:16:00.001-05:00

Happy Halloween!

I ♥ Amazon!

2011-10-29T10:42:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of people out there that hate on Amazon, but I'm NOT one of them.

I was looking over my bank account and noticed that my a couple of Amazon purchases were for more than I had expected. Low and behold, I had been charged shipping on a couple of free Super Saver Shipping items. $28 worth of shipping.

For about a second, I thought I would just let it go, but then I realized that was stupid. If I dropped $28 in the parking lot, you can bet I would trot my round self right after it! So I dug around the Amazon site for a bit and found the 'call me now' button. And, wow! They really did! Like as soon as I hit 'enter' my phone rang.

A very helpful customer service agent name Andre listened to my problem, apologized profusely, and immediately refunded my money. Problem solved.

Yep, I big puffy heart Amazon!

My Dog is Broken

2011-09-26T11:22:00.000-05:00

Speaking of weekly vet appointments...

Last night Griffin came in from the yard with a limp. I guess he had been playing with the big dogs (130 pounds to his eight) and maybe one of them stepped on him. What ever happened, he was the loser. For the rest of the evening, he wouldn't put weight on it or bend his knee. His little tail was between his legs and he was generally pitiful.

I felt on his leg to find the place that was paining him, but no place seemed more tender than anywhere else. When I bent his knee, it made a popping sound like when you crack a knuckle. Eeek! After that, I left him alone for fear of doing more harm than good.

Of course, we were off to the vet first thing this morning. Diagnosis? Luxated patella. (Dislocated kneecap for those of you with healthy trouble-free knees.) The vet said it was just slipping in and out like crazy. And would require surgery to fix. Gah. The vet gave him a shot for the pain and said to watch him for the next two weeks. It was possible that the ligaments would tighten back up.

Unfortunately, I know from personal experience that once a patella sees the world, it is very hard to keep it in its proper place. I dislocated mine at 16 and it has been in and out ever since. Picture a midnight trip to the E.R. on my twenty-first birthday. Ouch!

I guess what they say about pets resembling their owners is true. But in this case it is health related instead of appearance. First Griff's thyroid pooped out, and now his knee. Poor puppy!

They Cut Off My Fierce!

2011-09-21T23:25:00.000-05:00

Normal women have standing appointments to get their hair done. Or a mani/pedi. Maybe a massage. Me? I have a standing appointment with my vet.

I have been to the vet every Wednesday since school started. Poor Griffin's skin condition - that I have been trying to cure for a YEAR - had reached crusty-I'm-afraid-to-touch-it proportions. His ears had lost all the fur from the inside and the ick had crept from his elbows across his chest. No fur. Black flaking badness. Resistant to topical medicines. Shudder.

The vet took one look at him and told me I had to shave him (!). And bathe him weekly in shampoo that cost WAY more than anything I have ever used. And give him thyroid medicine. And a fish oil capsule the size of his head. Every day.

Here are my sweet pom poms in Colorado. Izzy is on the left and Griffin is on the right. Aren't they cute?

Here is Griff after his trip to the beauty parlor.

Could you just die? How cute is he? (Not a super picture, but it was hard to get him alone in the frame!) He looks like a little teddy bear! He is now so woolly and adorable that I just have to pick him up every time I walk by him - like a thousand times a day! It is really funny to see his little fuzzy self keeping gigantor Holly in line. She jumps and cringes just like he was twice her size. Hilarious!

The good news is that he is like a whole new dog after his hair cut. More energy. Less eye watering. The crusty is clearing. Yay! T thinks that maybe all that fur was holding allergens that he couldn't escape.

Take It All Off!

2011-09-21T22:26:00.000-05:00

So. A looooong time ago I mentioned something about cutting my hair. Blah, blah, significant birthday blah give hair to charity blahbity blah. There may have even been a poll?

Without further ado, the winner, Short and Sassy:

So even after the decision was made, I put off and put off actually doing it. Finally, I couldn't stand it any more and chopped off 15 inches. Myself. In my bathroom. In pajamas.

And I grainily documented the whole thing for your viewing pleasure! (No, I'm not mad in these pictures. Just trying to figure out how to take a picture of myself in the mirror.)

BEFORE

DURING (I cut between the two rubber bands. I read an article in Glamor 20+ years ago that said doing this was an easy way to give yourself long, easy layers.

AFTER!

Now, I knew this step would be temporary, so I wasn't worried about messing anything up. I actually took another six inches off the back after this picture was taken. It turned out to be a pretty okay haircut. My curls were definitely curlier, but in a good way. The downside was that if I put it in a pony tail, I'd have a kink from the rubber band until the next time I washed it.

Last week, after both kids were back in school, I finally made it into the salon to get my official new hair cut. The stylist didn't believe me when I told her I wanted it short, so we ended up re-cutting the whole thing twice. Much blow drying and flat ironing later, it looked really cute! Ironically, it still wasn't short enough. I want it OFF my neck. My stylist said to come back after I had lived with it for a while and we would tweak it to get it just right.

Then I washed it. I had to see what it would look like if I didn't take time to fix it. Oh, the humanity! It shrunk (shrank? shrinked?) right up into a puffy round grandma hair do. All I needed to fit in with the biddies in my water aerobics class was a blue rinse. My look went from mid-30's to mid-50's. Swell.

Face blurred for your protection!

UPDATE: The next day I broke out a whip and a chair and was able to tame it into something resembling a cute style. I had to buy a better flat iron and MANY straightening products, but even so, I was unable to get it as straight as the stylist. So now the question is do I go shorter? Take out a little of the bulk? Or do I just wait it our until it is a little longer and the weight holds it down? I am open to suggestions!

Ain't That the Truth

2011-08-24T20:47:00.000-05:00

FAT

2011-08-22T11:23:00.001-05:00

There's nothing like a vacation in the mountains for relaxing and enjoying the scenery.

Hold, please, while I download the ol' vaycay photos....

Huh.

There is a reason that my commitment to fitness is renewed at this time every year: vacation photos. In this year's crop of pictures, it looks like the current me ATE the me of last year. And I was no dainty flower last year.

Sigh.

On the plus side, I have already been attending classes in the pool at the Y since the beginning of August. (Water = Happy Place = Exercise that I will do voluntarily, even if I am the only one in the pool that doesn't have blue hair and a helmet perm.) And I am back on the old diet wagon. Again.

Sigh.

Goal for this time next year? To be fit enough to hike Uncompahgre next summer.

See you at the top!

Shampoo Warning

2011-08-22T10:17:00.001-05:00

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner! The shampoo I use is making me fat! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning:

"FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."

No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads,

"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Problem solved! If I don't answer the phone . . . I'll be in the shower.

Hold, Please!

2011-06-20T19:21:00.001-05:00

The good news is that I have finished sewing all seven miles of piping. (It turned out AWESOME, by the way.) I have stapled on about half of it and completed the outside of one of the wings. If I didn't have blisters to prove otherwise, I would swear that chair was purchased from a high end furniture store! You know, if you only look at it from the left side.

The bad news is that I am in Ginormousville for a fun-filled week and a half of dental work. I promise to post pictures of the finished wing backs as soon as I get home. Next week. After my dental implant.

Sob!

Wing Back Love

2011-06-15T23:18:00.000-05:00

Are you sick of the wing backs yet? I'm not! Here is the progress report: I have done all the recovering I can do before I sew about seven miles of piping. So far, so good! It looks so awesome!

Freezer Jam - So Domestic!

2011-06-15T00:19:00.000-05:00

In an uncharacteristic fit of domesticism, I made freezer jam this evening. So easy! I had no idea! Basically, you just squish up a quart of raspberries, throw in a cup and a half of sugar and a packet of fruit pectin (the kind made for freezer jam), stir it up and done. You don't even have to sterilize jars! You just throw it into whatever clean container you have on hand; in my case, Gladware. It made four one cup containers. The containers will keep for up to a year in the freezer and three weeks in the fridge.

Guess I'll be eating a lot of toast and jam in the near future. Yum!

Rae Ann v. Wing Back

2011-06-13T17:15:00.000-05:00

Further progress on the wing backs:

I am not sure who won this battle!

My Next Big Project: Reupholstering Wingbacks

2011-06-12T18:18:00.000-05:00

My friend, CJ, the interior designer, has been asking me lately what my next big project will be. I have been waffling among several projects on my 2011 To Do List. A painting project was in in the lead until I stumbled on this cool tutorial on how to reupholster a wing back chair. My original plan was to just do a semi-permanent slip cover, but the tutorial inspired me to do the real deal.

Before I could lose my nerve, I grabbed my sharpie, screwdriver and needle-nose pliers and got to work.

We started out here:

Almost two hours and two giant blisters later, we were here:

I have gotten the mesh and piping off the bottom of the chair. Who knew this was going to be such a workout? I worked up a full body sweat and required a rest and a beverage before I could go on. I think I pulled out 1,000 staples - and I have barely started!

I'll keep you posted!

Fin.*

2011-06-02T14:10:00.001-05:00

* that would be the french for 'the end', not the pokey part on the back of a fish.

Z finished her first year of real school. I am now the mom of a first grader. How is that possible? I was just in labor with her ten minutes ago!

I am amazed with how much she has learned this year. She can read. Like, for real. Not just Dick & Jane, either. Books. Signs. Cereal boxes. Amazing! She can do math. Addition, subtraction, some basic multiplication. She now speaks some basic Spanish. She can even roll her r's. Wow.

My baby is growing up. It is hard to believe she went from this to this in nine short months. I couldn't be more proud of her.

Now, if I can just keep from killing her over the summer, we will be in good shape!

It's... a Salad!

2011-05-23T23:31:00.000-05:00

Wow! There are sprouts every where in my little garden! I now have enough sprouts to make the world's tiniest salad: basil, dill, carrots, lettuce, cauliflower, onion, peas, snow peas, okra, corn, and tomatoes. Oh, and mint, strawberries, pumpkin and cantaloupe, too, but they didn't fit the salad theme.

Now if I can just keep everything watered and critter free for another six(?) weeks, I might actually be able to eat that salad.

It LIVES!!

2011-05-21T10:18:00.000-05:00

This little guy has me SO excited!

When we moved to Wester, the previous owners left us a perfect little garden spot. The fence was half-a$$ed and the patch was weedy, but it could have been a going concern with a ~~whole lot of~~ little work. Instead, we ignored it and it became a shoddily fenced patch of the lushest weeds in west Texas. Go us!

Eventually, T took down the shoddy fence and made some noise about putting up a 'quality' fence. Then... nothing. We had a second summer of super luxe weeds and lots of vicious stickers. And Holly adopted the area for her bathroom. Super!

This year, I was determined to get that garden in. My grandmother (who lived in Wester) always gardened in raised beds, so I had vague notions that I would do that, too. She used cinder blocks. Sounded good to me, but the rest of it was still a hazy mess in my mind. The whole thing might have stalled out right there if I hadn't serendipitously run out of things to read on my blog reader one afternoon.

I read all the way to end of a post I might normally have skimmed and stumbled onto a website about square foot gardening. I clicked through and started reading about the methodology and was immediately sold. No amending soil! No rows to hoe! High yield in a small space! Sign me up! (Seriously, it's like a gardening cult. I am totally gung-ho brain-washed.)

Sounds simple, right? And it would have been... if my darling husband hadn't been involved. There is no simple task that the man can't make more difficult in the name of 'quality.' My plan was to set up my cinder blocks up in the nice flat garden area and get to work. T insisted that the blocks had to be set down into the ground or they would just wiggle all around. Sigh.

Once we got the blocks set, it was just add Mel's Mix (a soil alternative) and go, right? That would work if I didn't have two giant shovel-pawed-digger-dogs, but I didn't see the point in planting the garden only to have my dogs destroy it in a nanosecond. I needed a fence.

I got the stuff for a two-foot fence and started pounding posts. Little did I know that I would hit bedrock a mere four inches under soil. T didn't believe me and just pounded them harder. And bent the lightweight posts all to hell. Not only that, but when they hit the rock, they bent under and formed a hook so they were impossible to remove. Yay! We actually had to buy a post puller to get them out of the rock.

Next, we bought heavy-duty keep-the-cows-in-the-pasture fence posts. I left the pounding up to T. They are very tall. Maybe I'll dress them up with bird houses somewhere down the line. But they hold up the fencing! And keep out the dogs! So they are great!

The fence still needs a little work. The big plastic lattice will be cut down into a small-ish gate. The composter will be moved all the way up into the front corner for easier access. I think I'll leave the gloves. Adds a touch of class, no?

But this guy? Is what it is all about! So excited!

UPDATED: I now have multiple sprouts! So far, pumpkin, cucumber, and basil have come up from seed. My mint and strawberry transplants are doing well, too. Squee!

New 'Do

2011-05-19T21:53:00.000-05:00

Since I had that, ahem, significant birthday a few months ago, I have been talking a lot of smack about cutting my hair off and donating it to charity and getting a whole new look for this whole 'middle aged' thing. I had T snap a photo, a control, if you will. Then... nothing. Six months later and nothing.

Then I stumbled across a fun makeover tool on the Real Simple website. Awesomeness! Here are my results: (please to ignore the funky Barbie-esque hair colors. I tried to get them as close to my own hair color as possible, but... well, you can see the results. The make up looks pretty aweswome though, right?)

Au Naturel

This is what I look like on a daily basis. My hair is long (almost to my waist) and curly and not quite as blond as it used to be. I have a LOT of hair and it gets HOT. That is why it is almost always in a pony tail or, lately, a bun.

Broadcaster Bob

I really like the bangs on this style. Unfortunately, the rest of it is a little blah. Mom-ish, if you will. (And not in a MILF sort of way!) I think it could look cute either curly or straight.

Hip Flip

I think this cut would work really well with my hair. I had a cut similar to this years ago (before my hair was curly) that I really liked. It doesn't seem like it would be too difficult to style. Unfortunately it is widest right where my face is widest...

Short Shag

I am strangely obsessed with this look. I fear it would require a lot of flat ironing - which in my world equals not getting done a whole lot. If I didn't iron it, would it shrink up into the dreaded 'mom helmet'?

Shaggy Shag

This might be what my hair looks like on a good day. On a bad day? I look like Mikey from Orange County Choppers. Perhaps this isn't quite the change of look I am looking for. Or is is?

Short and Sassy

Unexpectedly, this one is my favorite! If I got this haircut, I would be losing something like two feet of hair! Might have to get a keratin treatment to pull this off. Lots of maintenance. Hmmm. Maybe I am talking myself out of this one.

Beach-y Keen

This? Is my fantasy hair. The reality is that I would always put it behind my ears and end up with a butt-crack part. My hair looked like this for about a minute in college - before the hormonal soup of my thirties gave me curly hair.

Bang-less Bob

Do I love it? Do I hate it? Honestly, I don't know any more. I think it might look like the ill-advised haircut just-cut-it-all-off haircut I got when I was pregnant with Z. Or it might be a perfectly nice age-appropriate style.

Help me! With this here poll? Anyone? Crickets?

Which 'do should I do?
	Au Naturel
	Broadcaster Bob
	Hip Flip
	Short Shag
	Shaggy Shag
	Short and Sassy
	Beach-y Keen
	Bang-less Bob

Web Polls

Farmhouse Table Idea

2011-05-15T09:36:00.000-05:00

I was at Tractor Supply the other day looking for garden supplies. While I was there, this little beauty caught my eye:

My first thought was that it would make a fun mini-pool for the kids and when they were done, I could use the water for the garden. (The garden is a whole other post. SO excited!) Captain Killjoy (aka: T) said it would make the water too hot for the kids and would never work, blah, blah, I'm-no-fun blah. So I sadly walked away.

Earlier, I had been discussing my future kitchen/dining room plans with my sisters. (You can read about that here.) I am planning to build a banquette along the long wall of my dining room. My current table is an antique Duncan Phyfe. Every child-inflicted nick and gouge kills me, so I want to replace it with something a little more kid friendly. I figure if I start out with something distressed, kid-damage will just be enhancing it, right? Like adding patina.

So a farmhouse table seemed like the way to go. I found an Ana White plan I really liked here. The chunky legs were what sold me. I thought it gave it a modern edge despite the rustic materials. When I told my sisters about it, they pointed out that a classic farm table would be a real knee-banger for whoever was sitting on the banquette, and a pedestal would be way better. They were totally right, of course. But how would I build a pedestal that didn't look totally DIY?

Enter the galvanized stock tank. I think it could make a totally cool table base. It is only 24 inches tall, so I would have to come up with five to six more inches to make it standard height, but I think I could cover that with a wooden base and the height of the tabletop itself. If I was feeling particularly ambitious, I could even punch holes in the sides and put a light inside. How cool would that be?

T thinks it would be too rustic and wouldn't go with the rest of our house. I think the contemporary eclectic style of our decor could handle it. What do you think?

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T23:48:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time, in a small west Texas town, a princess was born. Nelda was everything a princess should be: very smart, very sweet, and very beautiful. She loved school and while maintaining excellent grades, she worked on the yearbook, sang in the choir, was in a social club and was a cheerleader.

After high school, Nelda was off to college. She attended for two and a half years before a financial crunch forced her to leave. Then in true fairy tale style, she married her high school sweetheart, Jack, and set off for a life of adventure.

She spent the next 30 years as an Air Force wife and mother to three daughters, moving more than 16 times and on three continents. Her most exotic stay was Seoul, Korea, but her favorite was Naples, Italy.

At the age of 40, the princess embarked on yet another adventure: she returned to college to finish her education. Her studies brought her to life in a whole new way. She loved everything about her college experience: learning new things, helping people, pursuing her interests. She graduated summa cum laude with a degree in speech pathology. It was a high point in an already lovely life.

Eventually, the princess and her prince retired from their life of adventure and moved to a small town in southern Texas where they proceeded to live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, every fairy tale has to have a villain and this one is no exception. In 2004, Nelda was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. She was tragically young and within a few short years went from a vibrant princess to a mere shell of her former self. First memory, then language, then mobility fell victim to this horrible disease.

My mom died on Good Friday, just six months after my dad. Sister L and I were with her. She went quietly and, as far as we could tell, without pain. It was hard to lose the husk of what used to be my mother, but also a relief.

She is now free to laugh and sing and dance in my heart. I love you, Mom.
Happy Mother's Day.

Donate today to help others live happily ever after.

The Circle of Life Can Bite Me

2011-04-19T23:40:00.000-05:00

With all the unrelenting SAD of losing my dad last fall, the fact that my mom has advanced Alzheimer's has kind of flown under the radar. We moved her from south Texas to Ginormousville where she would be close to Sister L. She had a series of small strokes and ended up in the hospital. Disappointingly, her condition deteriorated to where she could no longer live in an assisted living situation and we* found her a nursing home specializing in dementia care.

This seemed to be a much better fit for her care than assisted living. They took care of all the less glamorous portions of patient care at no extra charge and we no longer had to have the round the clock sitters to prevent injury from falls. As an added bonus, her new home was right around the block from Sister L, so she has been able to check in on her all the time.

For a (short) while, all seemed to be well. Was she was moving around less? Maybe... well, yes. Was she was talking/babbling less? Okay, also yes. Had her appetite had decreased? Possibly. Again, yes.

Maybe all wasn't well.

The reports this week have not been good. She has lost all interest in eating. She hasn't taken anything orally since Sister L coaxed some apple juice into her over the weekend. She has a DNR, so feeding tubes are out of the question - and prolonging her life in this condition would not be a kindness.

So maybe it is her time. She would HATE being in the state she is in. She had a lovely life. Was married 50 years. Raised three daughters. Blah, blah, blabity suck, suck, suckage. I hate this.

In theory, I am prepared for her loss in a way that I was not prepared for my dad's sudden and somewhat unexpected death. Mom left the building long ago. What remains is just a shell. But now that her time is upon me, I am not prepared at all.

*By 'we' I mean Sister L. She did all of the hard work of finding nice places for mom to live. For this, her sisters are eternally grateful.

Do Not See

2011-04-09T22:43:00.000-05:00

T's awesome parents came into town tonight specifically so T and I could have a date night. (I lucked out in the in-law department, huh?) Cutting edge trend setters that we are, we decided to go to dinner and a movie. It was T's turn to choose the move. He chose Your Highness.

Worst. movie. ever.

I think I may have actually lost I.Q. points for having seen this movie. I am wishing I could Clorox my brain. I feel kind of dirty. It was unbelievably, cringingly, almost cartoonishly bad. We thought that the total cheese-fest at the beginning of the movie was just to set the scene. Nope. It was the whole movie.

T figured that since Natalie Portman was in it, the movie had to be decent. He loves her. I mean, the woman has an Oscar, right? After this movie, she might have to give it back.

There was so much superfluous swearing that even my potty-mouthed-sailor of a husband thought it was excessive. Pretty much every scene had some kind of penis reference in it. Most of it with a guy/guy twist. Danny McBride seemed to be playing a character written for Jack Black - and doing it poorly. I am amazed that he was able to keep a straight face. All in all, it felt like the film was edited by a bunch of pimply-faced, hormonal junior high school boys.

The only thing that kept us in our seats was the $9.50 each we had blown on tickets.

On the up side, Grandma took care of bedtime and I got to spend a little (low) quality time with the hubs. That was worth the price of admission!

Parenting Fail Times Two

2011-04-08T09:49:00.000-05:00

And now for the eleventy-billionth installment on my parenting inadequacies:

Fail 1 - Somehow I have turned into the crazy, over-scheduling parent I swore I would never be. I decided that two activities per week outside of school was plenty. Then swimming lessons started.

That's not an activity, I think to myself. It's water safety! Sign 'em up! (Why I, a swim instructor, need swim lessons for my kids in an entirely different post.) So I signed them both up for lessons.

Then soccer season happened. The practices were scheduled for Tuesdays and Thursdays - the same days as swimming lessons. Blah. For the first time ever, I wasn't going to be able to cover the kids' schedules on my own. Three out of four weeks per month this is no big deal. T will grumble, but step up and do half of the ferrying. My awesome ~~sister-wives~~ friends have stepped up to help me during the week he is working nights.

During March, Z was sick for the first week of lessons, so I postponed her lessons until April. Tuesday was Z's first day for swim lessons. Soccer practice is from \
6:15 to 7:00. Swim lessons start at 7:10 across town. I figured we'd leave practice at 6:50 and make it easily. No sweat, right?

Um, wrong.

The moms on our new team are big fun. I was taking shirt orders and chitty-chatting and completely lost track of time. By the time I checked my watch, it was 7:15. Holy cow! I jumped up, grabbed our stuff and ran(!) to the car. I made poor Z change into her swimsuit in the car. A difficult feat with a seat belt on!

By the time we got to the Y and fought the crazy parking, it was 7:33. As we skidded into the pool area the little teen-aged head lifeguard looked a me and said, "Really?" Z was unphased. She jumped in for the last five minutes of class and was happy as a clam. When class was over the teacher said, very kindly, "You do know when class starts, right?"

I hung my head and mumbled something about scrimmages and doing better next time.

Nothing like teenaged disdain to make you feel like a stellar parent!

Fail 2 - Chica got a sewing machine recently and we have been making coordinating dresses for the girls. I just finished the second one and Z was super excited to wear it to school. When she put it on, I noticed that the arm holes seemed a little big. She's in kindergarten, I think to myself. How big a deal could it be?

At 11:15 I get a call from the school. "Mrs. C? Z's dress doesn't meet the dress code. You need to bring her a t-shirt to wear under it or a change of clothes."

FAIL.

Too Fast

2011-03-24T11:01:00.000-05:00

I dropped Z off in the carpool lane at school this morning. As I was trudging along towards the exit, I glanced up and saw a little girl walking along with complete confidence, Hello Kitty backpack bouncing up and down. I thought to myself, "Wow, that's a cute little girl."

When the carpool lane moved up a bit, I saw that the cute, confident little girl was Z.

When did my baby girl get so big? She is so beautiful it makes my heart hurt.

Let There Be Light!

2011-03-23T23:24:00.001-05:00

I got to check a couple things off my 2011 To Do List today. I am SO very tickled with how everything turned out! I started out on the front porch with the cool porch lights T gave me for Christmas. As with so many home improvement projects, it all went so quickly once I got started, I couldn't figure out why it took me so long to get around to doing it!

First, I had to remove the heeeeeedeeeeeous brass ode to the '80's that was the existing porch light. I am sure it was the bees knees 25 years ago, but today? Not so much. They had pretty cool photo sensors so they would come on at night and turn themselves off in the morning, but that feature had long been rendered useless by the multitudes of mud daubers that made their home on the back side of the light.

I unscrewed the nuts and pulled the old light off. Once I quit being skeeved out by all the cocoons/webs/bug remains, I found this fine example of home improvement. The mounting bracket was screwed into the siding instead of an electrical box. I guess they must have just sided over the box at some point. I was somewhat flummoxed about what to do next. Eventually, I figured out how to make the mounting hardware that came with the new lights work.

It was not without some blond moments, but I got them up. Ta dah!

I was so pleased with how the front porch turned out, that I was inspired to get to work on the light in my entry way. (Also? It doesn't hurt that Chica is coming for a visit this weekend and I want her to see all my pretties!) The main sticking point on this project was that I had to paint a brass fixture black. Turns out I have spray painting anxiety. T kept saying he would do it (he's really good at it), but that was on his time table, not mine. The nagging necessary to get him to do it just wasn't worth the wasted breath. 'Cause I can do anything! Right? Right.

So spray painting. I know what all the right things to do are, I am just too lazy to actually do them. So instead of Naphtha and steel wool, I wiped down the brass with rubbing alcohol and called it a day. I did my best to spray light coats, but that is my downfall with spray painting. I did manage to avoid any drips and the final product looks pretty darn good! (Especially hanging from the 10 ceiling - you can't see the texture added by all the dust blowing around here in west Texas!)

Once everything was dry, I pretty much repeated all the steps I went through on the front porch, minus the insect-related portions of the festivities. Thank goodness!

Even without shades, the newly black chandy was a VAST improvement over the old light. I always thought that one looked like a big spider clinging to the ceiling. Blech.

But with the shades? SQUEE!! I am in love! This fixture is a lot more traditional that my usual style, but I think the beading and eyelash trim make the little shades over the top adorable. I chose black for the chandy to tie in with the wrought iron on the stairs. Usually, I'm a brushed nickel girl, but I don't mind mixing up my finishes some a bit. No need to be too match-y-match-y! (Blasphemy, I know, Sister K!)

So here is the finished product of my entry way. I am quite proud of the antique, hand-dyed, hooked rug. My great-grandmother made that! The picture doesn't do it justice. It's gorgeous! I'm glad I found a place to use it! My entry table is made with four plaster columns I have had since college. I just throw a runner on top and I am good to go. Leopard, of course. I think every room can use a little animal print, and I often use it as a neutral.

I really like how the new hanging fixture adds some presence to the entry hall. It looks much more deliberate and not like some leftover the builder slapped up there. And better yet? This project was FREE! I swapped out my old kitchen hanging fixture with the one at the ranch, so the light was free. I painted it with high gloss black spray paint I had left over from some other project. The shades were a birthday present from Sister K for a fixture back in Small Town. Love that!

Boy + Dog = GROSS

2011-03-22T22:53:00.000-05:00

While playing out on the swing set/fort in the backyard this afternoon, Q decided that he was much too busy to come in the house to use the bathroom. Instead, he stripped down, hung his hiney out the door of the fort and dropped a bomb on the steps.

Then Holly ate it.

No Fair!

2011-03-09T21:36:00.001-06:00

To whom it may concern:

I would like a refund on the last 24 hours. It is simply not fair that my sweet Z should get a stomach bug so close on the heels of her chin/tongue injury over the weekend. Having badness coming from both ends is not at all conducive to her healing process. Fever? Headache? Really? Hasn't she suffered enough? Please look into this oversight and correct it as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Rae Ann

Trauma!

2011-03-07T10:22:00.000-06:00

This week, Bountiful Baskets opened a new location in Wester. The pick-up is at 10:30 in the morning, so I didn't have to crawl out of bed and schlep to Less Wester at 8:15 on a Saturday morning. I was so excited!

Z rolled out of bed begging to 'go somewhere', so I bundled up the kids and took them with me. I had decided to be a volunteer, so we were going at 9:30. (Volunteers get to split up the extras!) The distribution happens at a park, so I figured it was win win. Play time for the kids. Extra veggies for me. Sweet!

Unfortunately, all did not go smoothly. It was a chilly windy morning, so the kids started whining about going home almost right away. I fussed at them to get out from under my feet and GO PLAY. I gave them the option of sitting at the end of the table where we were working or going back out to play. They chose to play. Whew, right?

Um, no.

I was elbow deep in tangelos when a I heard a blood curdling scream. I look up and see Z coming toward me like something out of a zombie flick: hollering and covered in blood. It took me a moment to process what I was seeing, but once I did, I ran to her as quickly as my little round self could go. She had tried to do a flip on the monkey bars, slipped and split her chin and chomped her tongue.

The cut was wide open, and to my untrained eye looked like it might take a stitch to close it. After I staunch the worst of the bleeding, I reach for my phone to call T. No phone. I had taken it in the house to charge, which I never do, and forgotten put it back in the car. I sprint back to the tables and ask to borrow a cell phone. I only hoped T would answer a call from an unknown number - he's a hard core screener.

Luckily, he did pick up, but he didn't have any answers for me. But he had lots of questions. Finally, crying freely now, I told him that I was all flustered and that I just needed him to tell me what to do. Totally uncharacteristic. Finally we agreed that he would come to me, bring my phone and we'd figure it out together.

While we were waiting for him, the nice mom who let me borrow her phone got my basket together and offered some advice. She told me there was a walk-in clinic not far from the park. She said her five kids had required stitching up from time to time, and they were nice there. So I borrowed yet another phone, from a friend this time, and headed out.

Z, meanwhile, has been caterwauling the whole time. The idea of stitches made her cry even harder. Q joined in when I told him he would likely go home with Daddy (he wanted to see the stitching up process). Finally I had to tell him he wasn't allowed to cry since he wasn't hurt and I couldn't have all three of us crying!

They were, indeed, quite nice at the clinic. When they saw that Z was actively bleeding, they took her right back. A nurse cleaned her up and we waited for the doctor. The wait was maybe 45 minutes, which as it turns out was a good thing. By the time he got there, Z was fully calmed down and in a post-adrenaline-rush crash. It was determined that the scarring would be the same whether we stitched or didn't stitch, so we went with the much less traumatic butterfly bandage. Z was disappointed that it didn't have actual butterflies on it.

After the clinic, we went out for medicinal ice cream. Other than some slushy speech from where she chomped her tongue, she doesn't seem to be any worse for the wear. I, on the other hand, am sporting
a few new gray hairs. Good thing blond hides gray!

Whew!

2011-03-04T06:06:00.001-06:00

Perhaps this is why I am tired this weekend?

6:46 - Alarm goes off
7:05 - Roust Z from sound sleep
7:15 - Crabby Q emerges
7:35 - Take Z to school
8:15 - Make breakfast for the boys (unheard of!)
9:00 - Take Q to school
9:15 - Race home to load my car with mountains of carefully prepped baby items for the Just Between Friends consignment sale.
9:30 - Drive like a bat out of hell to get to Less Wester (the next town over)
10:00 - Volunteer as a clothing inspector at the JBF sale (So I can shop early!)
2:00 - Wolf a quick lunch with Bun at Sonic
2:30 - Race back to Wester to nab Q and pick up Z's ballet stuff
3:00 - Pick Z up from school
3:30 - Stop for quick snack before ballet
4:00 - Drop Z off at ballet
4:10 - Take Q to park to burn off extra energy and catch my breath
4:45 - Pick Z up from ballet
4:50 - Dinner on the run at Wendy's; make Z do half of homework before diving into kid's meal
5:15 - More race car driving back to Less Wester
5:45 - Take wrong turn on way to cousin's house. Again.
6:00 - Drop kids off
6:15 - Wander randomly through down town Less Wester. Call Bun for directions.
6:30 - Finally arrive at pre-sale and shop, shop, shop!
8:45 - Back to my cousin's house (without getting lost, this time)
9:05 - Pick up kiddos and drive back to Wester, no speeding
9:35 - Get kids pajama-ed, tooth brushed, and into bed
10:00 - Play with new clothes from the sale, as had consumed too many caffeinated beverages to go to sleep (removing tags and pins)
11:00 - Fall into bed when T gets home from work.

I am glad every day isn't this busy!

Cauliflower Conquered

2011-03-02T05:18:00.001-06:00

I got another cauliflower in my Bountiful Basket two weeks ago. I put off using it until it was on the verge of spoiling since my last run in with broccoli's pale cousin was nothing short of a debacle. Bun swears that she likes cauliflower pretty much any way you can make it, so I knew there must be some way of preparing cooked cauliflower that wasn't a total gag-fest.

She suggested roasting it, so that was my plan until I stumbled upon this recipe from 101 Cookbooks. They called it Simple Cauliflower, and the seasonings were flexible and seemed similar to what Bun suggested, but the cooking time was reduced by 80 per cent. For this last minute chef? Score!

The end result was delicious. Even my super-picky-doesn't-try-new-things husband gave it a thumbs up. The popcorn sized florets (that T even helped cut up - will the wonders ever cease?) were nicely browned and the garlic and parmesan were the perfect combo. My version was a little less gourmet than the original recipe, but, I think, no less yummy.

Here is my new go to cauliflower recipe:

Simplified Cauliflower

1 head of cauliflower
1 tablespoon of olive oil
Salt
Pepper
Onion powder
1 clove garlic, minced (I used the jarred kind)
Grated Parmesan

To prep the cauliflower, remove any leaves at the base and trim the stem and cut it into tiny trees. Most florets should be about the size of a piece of popcorn . Make sure the pieces are relatively equal in size, so they cook in the same amount of time.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. When hot, add the cauliflower and stir until the florets are coated. Wait until it gets a bit brown on the bottom, then toss the cauliflower with a spatula. Add seasonings to taste. Brown a bit more and continue to saute until the pieces are deeply golden, about six minutes. In the last 30 seconds stir in the garlic.

Remove from heat and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. ~~Gobble it all up yourself.~~ Serve immediately.

Enjoy!

It's Like Spring Cleaning, Only Grosser

2011-02-20T22:13:00.001-06:00

Here's a nasty little equation for your perusal:

(1 winter) x (1+ acres) x (4 dogs) = a LOT of sh!t

Ugh. I spent my afternoon on the world's most disgusting Easter egg hunt. I collected an entire wheel barrow-full of dog turds(!). Literally. Big turds. Little turds. SO. MANY. TURDS.

The weather has turned nice and the kids want to play in the yard, so it had to be done. Besides, if we didn't get it taken care of before next weekend when T's parents arrive, they wouldn't be able to rest until every pile was disposed of.

So I spent two hours on a glorious west Texas winter morning on a deuce hunt. I had a couple of turd-spotting helpers - not that they were much help. Mostly I had to keep telling them not to step in the poop.

Before the in-laws owned the property on the other side of the horse pasture, we just kind of flung the poop over the fence. (No horses are ever kept in that pasture.) But since the owner of the pasture was nice enough to let us put gates on either side so we can cross it, it just didn't seem like the neighborly thing to do anymore.

So now we have a super fancy fecal matter disposal unit in the far rear corner of our lot. Which is to say, the working parts of an outhouse (aka: a sh!t pit). We dropped in the droppings and covered them up with piles of ashes from the fire place. Hopefully, the ashes will keep the stink down and help everything break down and go away.

I love living in the country. Classy? I haz it.

...And Then a Miracle Happened

2011-02-17T20:53:00.000-06:00

My banister! It doesn't wobble!

My contractor! Finally showed up!

I am so excited! That I must abuse exclamation points!

THE ATTIC CONVERSION IS FINISHED!!

Too bad the slide show isn't.

And now the new upstairs is so stuffed with, well, stuff that

I don't want to put up pictures.

But I will.

Someday.

I mean it.

Rats, Foiled Again!

2011-02-15T11:08:00.000-06:00

To overcome my powerful procrastination skills, a friend of mine suggested that I put painting the bathroom on the calendar and get myself psyched up for it. So I did, and it worked. I got up today all ready to paint that bathroom. I got in there and started masking Oh, how I hate masking! But I am a spaz and unreliable about touching up the ceiling, so: masking. Sigh. I figured I would actually do a thorough job of it and paint the tape line with primer to insure pristine paint lines.

But I got ahead of myself. The paint I planned to use for the bathroom was left over from the house in Small Town, but I wanted to tone it down a little. The colors were a little intense, so I planned to tone them down with a little white paint. Halfway through my masking job, I got sucked into paint mixing. The colors? So not going to work. Still WAY too intense. Very juvenile. The colors were okay in the old house where the bathroom was solely a kids' bathroom, but in this house, it is the main first floor bathroom and I was hoping for something a little more sophisticated. Well, as sophisticated as you can be with a monkey shower curtain!

Guess I'll have to take another stab at the colors. I have a cup holder that has the sand-and-sky colors I am looking for in it. I guess I'll just have to cough up the cost of paint. Rats! I was hoping this would be a free project! Oh, well. Paint is cheap.

Sooooo Much (Left) to Do

2011-02-12T15:36:00.000-06:00

I have been working on my list, but, darn it!, it just keeps getting longer! Here's the progress report with new items added in bold.

Front Porch:

Install new front porch lights that I got for Christmas
Paint front door red
Paint porch swing (and possibly wooden rockers from my parents' house) black.
Plant Caladiums in the beds under the big trees

Foyer/Stairs:

Browbeat David-the-Contractor into finishing the stair railing (it still wobbles). Updated: I have been calling him about every other day. He swears that he isn't avoiding me/my calls, but my railing still wobbles.
Hang family portraits on stair wall.
Get mirror for empty frame above entry table.
Paint hideous brass chandy black and top with adorable mini-shades that were in my formal dining room in my last house to replace the much-too-small fixture in the entry.

Living Room:

Repair giant wicker flamingo that Holly mauled.
Raise curtain rod and lengthen curtains with interesting (not yet selected) fabric.

Kitchen and Dining Room:

Remove hideous wallpaper.
Remove chair rail and upside-down crown molding.
Paint beige-on-beige harlequins on kitchen walls.
Build banquette.
Raise and re-cover Craig's-list wingback chairs to use as host chairs.
Make baffle for drum shade over dining room table.

Laundry Room:

Make cafe curtains to hide my shame from the neighbors but still let in enough light to work.
Install more shelving/open storage for the less-used items from the kitchen
Possibly paint, but I have no idea what color.

Master Bedroom:

Install crown molding
Touch up paint (in the right light some areas are quite patchy).

Z's Room:

Paint yellow pine corner cabinet white
Wallpaper (okay, Contact Paper) the back of her shelves with SO cute green pattern
Sew pillow shams and second dust ruffle

Q's Room:

Finish rope detail around his ceiling
Put together his big-boy bed.
Buy/make big-boy bedding.

Kids' Bathroom:

Paint sand and sky colors (like I had in the old house). Possibly with chair rail, but probably just paint treatment with palm trees.
Select/install non-hideous towel bars.
Make frames to hang over the builder-grade giant mirror
Spray paint the TP holder to match other finishes in the bathroom.

Sewing Room/My Office:

Paint walls palest aqua.
Convert daybed to 'couch' (a small construction project) and upholster with fabulous cocoa-polka-dotted fabric.
Build custom desk that runs the length of the room with space for both my sewing machine and computer, with plenty of storage for sewing and crafting supplies.
Make a window treatment.

Guest Room:

Add accessories that haven't make it out of storage.

Guest Bath:

Find some art.
Circle border treatment like I saw at House*Tweaking, but with more colors.

Kids' Den:

Hang art.
Get kids' computer stations set up and running.
Find a home for all of the stuff in boxes from my parents' house. Updated: Making good progress, but there is still a looooong way to go.

Parenting Skillz? I Haz 'Em.

2011-02-09T23:48:00.000-06:00

We got to spend some time in the hospital with Q last spring when he was diagnosed with Asthma. We were given a rigorous regimen of antihistamines, steroids and bronchodilators and told to watch him like a hawk. And watch him we have. He was doing great until the bitter cold hit. The trick is that Q doesn't always wheeze or show any obvious signs of distress. And while he is capable of giving a lengthy dissertation on Batman at any minute, he seems to be lacking the vocabulary to let anyone know that he is totally sucking wind.

Case in point: On Friday evening, I had reached my tolerance level for kid clutter in the living room. Once we got the toys out of the floor and off the couch, I insisted they actually put the toys away in their rooms instead of just creating giant safety hazards by dumping them on the floor. Z got her room picked up in a reasonable time, but Q was (literally) dragging his feet. Finally, tired of all the begging, I allowed him to go to bed, with the promise to finish cleaning up first thing in the morning.

He was still sleeping when I went to pick up my Bountiful Basket. When I got home, T said that he was complaining that his tummy hurt and that he was 'so tired.' Since these are his fave excuses to get out of doing anything he isn't enthused about (ex: eating vegetables, sitting on the potty, letting the dogs out), I brushed off his complaints and sent him to his room to finish cleaning up.

He whined about it, but I stood firm. He went to his room for about ten minutes then came out complaining that he was still tired. So I told him to go lie down. And he did. When he got back up, I made him work on the mess again. He worked himself up to tears and cried pitifully, but I was determined that he would clean up his toys. (For the record, my standards are low. All I require is that the toys are in bins and off the floor. This job should have been cake.)

This went on for ever. To keep us from being late to a birthday party, I went in to direct traffic hoping to speed things up a bit. All the while he is sobbing and sniffing and complaining about being tired. Finally, I put aside my irritation and really looked at him. His whole chest and belly were working with every breath. I was horrified.

"Honey, do you need a breathing treatment?" He sobbed yes with such obvious relief that I felt like a total heel. Geez, just shoot me! He asked if he could lie down while he took his treatment and was asleep as soon as I turned on the nebulizer.

Huh. It turns out that at least some of the time, 'I'm tired' is code for 'I'm not getting enough oxygen.' And 'My tummy hurts' means 'I am having to use my entire torso to get enough air so that I don't pass out.' When I mentioned this epiphany to T, he told me that, yeah, when his breathing was bad, it made his abs hurt. Gah. That was intel I could have used sooner, dear helpmate!

Bring on the Mother of the Year Award.

Needless to say, now, whenever he busts out his I-don't-wanna excuses, my first response is to ask if he needs a breathing treatment. I guess it is better to have broken the code late than never.

Brrrrr or Grrrrr?

2011-02-03T10:57:00.000-06:00

It's cold. Really cold. Like we should be somewhere north of the Mason-Dixon Line cold. (Bear in mind that I live in desert-y west Texas and am a cold weather WIMP!) But wimpiness aside, I have actual proof of the extreme cold: my pipes are frozen.

As part of the upstairs remodel, we decided to get the house re-plumbed. There were pin-hole leaks in each of the walls the contractor opened up, so it seemed prudent to take care of it sooner rather than later. We decided to go with PEX tubing since it would get all plumbing out of our foundation and was also reported to be 'freeze proof' by our builder. In case of freeze, the pipes would swell to the size of a softball without bursting. Sounds great, huh?

And it is. The pipes have, in fact, not burst in the sub-freezing temperatures. But frozen? You bet! Starting on Wednesday, we have had progressive water loss throughout our house. First, we lost water to the kitchen sink. Then we lost water to the water heater that supplies three-quarters of the house. Then we lost water to the fridge. Next came the master bathroom. Luckily, the kids bathroom has its own water heater. It is currently our only source of hot water. The upstairs bathroom is still working, but only if you like cold showers.

Irony alert: a couple of weeks ago when we had a hard frost, I noticed that the area over our garage was completely frost free. I reported to T that we really needed to do something about the insulation there - we were losing a lot of heat! He gave me the brush off and said the house was sealed up tight and not to worry my pretty little head over it.

Once the pipes started freezing, he went up to the attic to see what was going on. Huh. The pipes weren't insulated! As a matter of fact, the entirety of the new construction has cold air circulating freely under the (uninsulated) floor. No wonder our utility bills have been so astronomical. The heat was going straight out the attic vents.

Awesome.

Soooo Slow

2011-01-31T22:06:00.000-06:00

I am making some progress on painting the kids' bathroom. I did all the cutting in for the primer two weeks ago... then it got cold. I don't want to paint with the window open when it is 30 degrees outside, right? So there it sat, pictures off the walls, towel racks down, no place to put the toilet paper. Nice.

It's a small room, maybe five by ten feet, so I know it won't take a lot of time to paint. But it took me weeks to finally just get started already.

But I did! I started! I primed all four walls! Sad to say my bathroom looks better now, with bare primer on the walls, than it has since I moved in 18 months ago.

So here's the dilemma: I am hosting a trunk show on Thursday. There is no possible way I can get the painting completed before the party. I'll need to do at least two coats of each color (pale blue and brown for a sky and sand theme, for those of you playing along at home), and I'm playing around with the idea of making the dividing line a curve instead of a regular straight line. This will take some figuring on my part - not to mention way more time than I have to devote to it before the trunk show.

Sigh. Guess I will be setting the bathroom back up (pictures, shower curtains, toothbrush holder) for the party, then strip it all back down for the final paint job. Did I mention blah? But at least I'm making progress, right?

Devil Soup

2011-01-27T22:29:00.076-06:00

Another installment in the game of cooking roulette:

My third Bountiful Basket was an adventure in cooking with random co-op vegetables. This week the starring role was played by a dozen fresh green chilies.

What the heck was I going to do with green chilies?

My big tough husband has a delicate flower of a digestive tract. He is allergic to a wide range of weird foods (lettuce? seriously?) and just won't eat a lot of others. My children are both currently experimenting with the air plant diet. Anything remotely new and/or different prompts a food strike of epic proportions. Sometimes it seems like they subsist on a diet of simple carbs. I'm afraid they are going to get scurvy or rickets or whatever disease it is when you only eat from one nutritionally sparse food group.

So. Green chilies. Thank goodness for Google! After a quick perusal of about a million variations of green chile casserole and green chile stew, I finally settled on a recipe from All Recipes for Roasted Green Chile Stew. It seemed harmless enough: pork and potatoes to absorb any heat the roasted chilies brought to the table. Enough other spices that it wouldn't just taste like boiled chilies. Super!

I decided to roast them on the grill. (And besides, T likes playing with fire, so if he grilled them we could have a little quiet hanging out time.) The recipe said to give them an even char all over, so that is what my sweet grill master did. He charred them within an inch of their lives! After I sweated them in a tupper, I tried to peel off the charred outer skin. Um, the char went all the way through! Out of the dozen chilies, maybe four of them yielded a usable product. Sigh.

The rest of the recipe went without incident, but I tweaked it a bit to suit my family (recipe as I made it below). I doubled the broth and tripled the potatoes. I mashed up a few of the potatoes to give the broth a little more body. The end result? There was no heat to speak of. The pork was super tender and it had a great texture. Delicious!

Or so I thought.

Q refused it entirely. The slightly greenish tint of the soup was WAY too foreign for him. Z fished out all of the pork and potato pieces, but only because she was trying to eat just enough to get dessert afterward. T forced down a minuscule portion and loaded up on crackers. Shortly after dinner, he emerged from the bedroom pale and sweaty and pronounced my delicious stew to be 'devil soup.'

Huh. Oh, well. More for me!

Pork, Potato and Green Chile Stew

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 pound boneless pork shoulder, cubed
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried oregano
4 large roasted green chiles
3 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed
3 roma (plum) tomatoes, chopped
2 (14.5 ounce) cans chicken broth
salt to taste

Directions

Heat the olive oil in a Dutch oven or heavy saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the cubed pork, garlic, onion, cumin and oregano. Cook and stir until pork is browned.
Cook and stir for a few more minutes, then pour in half the vegetable broth. Reduce the heat to low, and simmer for about 30 minutes.
Add the potatoes and enough broth to cover them to the stew, and simmer for about 35 minutes. You can roast your chilies during this time, peel, seed chop and add to the stew. If the stew becomes too dry, add a little more broth. When the potatoes are soft and the pork is tender, add the tomatoes. Cook for about 5 minutes, then remove from the heat and serve. It's delicious with a dollop of sour cream on top!

If roasted chiles are not available you will need to roast them yourself. A grill works best. Roast Anaheim or New Mexico chiles on grill till they are black on all sides. Place in a plastic bag in the freezer for ten minutes. This will make it easier to peel them. Rub the blackened peel off and rinse clean, then cut in half lengthwise, seed and chop.

Spendy

2011-01-25T22:12:00.000-06:00

Kids? Are expensive. What with the 'Mama, I'm hungry!' and 'Mama, my sweater won't fit over my head!' and 'Mama, I don't want to drown in a tragic fishing accident!' and 'Mama, I don't want to contract cholera from my own bathroom!' and all. Needy little bloodsuckers*.

Today's expenditures:

Swim lessons for one month - $80
Second season of soccer for Z - $60
Food for the kids' beasties - ~~$70~~ Okay, to be fair, they only account for half of the dog ownership, so - $35
Presents for Q's upcoming birthday - $25
Pajamas for Q so he doesn't have to sleep outgrown summer PJs - $15
Leggings to replace the ones Z put holes in - $10
Shoes to replace the ones Holly ate - $10
Cleaners for their narsty bathroom - $10

Gah, make it stop! And that doesn't even touch on the groceries, tuition, ballet lessons, tumbling, and book orders we're already in for the month. Is it too late to reconsider my decision to become a parent?**

* I know being needy is a kid's job. I kid!
** I would never choose to not have my kiddos. I love them more than air. But the money... anyone want to buy a kidney?

Lookin' Good!

2011-01-21T11:07:00.000-06:00

After a long and largely fruitless search for new glasses, I finally have a pair that I like! I searched every optical outlet in Wester to discover that a.) all glasses frames in Wester are boring/square; and b.) frames even a little outside of average? Really, really expensive.

I prefer cat-eye glasses, which are harder to find than one would think. Thank goodness for the internet! Though really, they weren't easy to find there either. But I persevered! Eventually, I found an eBay store that had just what I wanted. In lots of colors! With rhinestones! Squee!

Actually, I ended up with optical quality readers. Such a deal! They were $25 a pair. Then I just took them into LensCrafters and had them put prescription lenses in. That was not particularly cheap (their 2-for-1 deals only apply to frames and lenses). I probably could have gotten a better deal if I had shopped around, but I was DONE with my old glasses and just wanted to get into the new ones as soon as possible

What do you think? (Please ignore the dermatology-appointment-closeness of my un-made-up face. Also, I do actually have eyelashes, I just look like a radiation victim without mascara.)

Spoiled Brat

2011-01-19T11:10:00.000-06:00

Let me preface this post by saying that I have the most kind, considerate, generous dad-in-law of all time. He is willing at any time to give of his time and talent. I feel like a total brat for feeling the way I feel (that was a lot of 'feels,' huh?) as I write this.

So. The kids have reached the age where we are ready to start them out on computers. We are a family with a lot of computers to hand down, so all we needed were some work stations to set them up. Enter GanGan. He is a very talented wood-worker. We have several gorgeous pieces of furniture that he made in our house. When he heard we needed desks, he stepped right up. I drew him a picture of what I had in mind that looked like this:

I wanted something simple with good clean lines. I was going to paint them, so they didn't need to be made from fancy wood. Other than standard desk height, I didn't care about the size. Drawers? Cool but not necessary.

"No problem!" he said. "That's basically a trestle table. I've built lots of those," he said. "I don't need dimensions! Building these will keep my brain sharp," he said.

This is what arrived at my house yesterday.

OMG, the ugly! And there are two of them! Yay... With weird stick-out-y pieces! And completely random pieces of trim! And feet(!) that stick out further than the desk! With routed edges! Sob! All the weirdness with the legs happened because he couldn't get the X-legs stable. Hoo, boy. They are stable now. And SO heeeedeeeeous!

Now GanGan, for all his (many) talents, is very insecure. All during the building process, he kept saying we could just chop them up and use them for firewood. And I kept saying, "Never! They'll be great!" Which makes the fact that I want/need to completely change the legs all the more controversial. Why don't I just kick a puppy while I'm at it?

On the up side, he took me at my word and didn't use furniture grade wood, so the supplies were cheap. It won't be sacrilege when I cut the legs clean off. And the tops are great! Two drawers? Perfect! But the legs? Gots. To. Go.

I'm such a brat.

So here is the plan (more or less): 1.) remove legs and all the assorted braces; 2.) trim out the top so that nothing is sticking out awkwardly; 3.) attach new side panels to both sides; 4.) brace along the top and bottom of the back. Something like this:

Guess I need to add that to the 'To Do' list. Sigh.

Mommy Haiku

2011-01-18T22:13:00.000-06:00

I stumbled upon a fun little challenge over at Two Peas in a Pie and just had to play along. She invited us to pen a little ode to motherhood in 5-7-5. And I loves me some haiku! Here goes:

Scream, yell, pinch and poke.

Mine! No mine! Leave it alone!

Crappy McPlastic.

A tiny tyrant

and an empress in training

search for minions.

Funny little guy

Pretty girl so very smart

Can't believe they're mine.

Checkity Check!

2011-01-17T21:33:00.001-06:00

Apparently, all I needed to do to get the ball rolling on home improvement was wave my shame flag to blog-land. Items completed thus far:

Hang art in entryway.
Find a place for the painting that used to hang over the fireplace in the living room.
Hang curtains that mom-in-law bought me for the guest room.
Hang art in guest room.
Hang art - especially cool David Bromstad-esque deer portrait I made T for Christmas - in kids' den

Yay, me!

Don't quote me on this, but there are even plans afoot to get started on priming the kids' bath tomorrow. Will the wonders never cease?

Sterner Stuff

2011-01-17T15:04:00.000-06:00

I think that housewives of the early '60's - military wives, in particular - were a lot more hard core than housewives of today. Or at least a lot more hard core than I am. Every mom I knew growing up (admittedly a sample skewed toward military families), had to spend a year or more at a time as a single parent while their husbands were overseas on an unaccompanied tour and/or fighting a war. It was just something that had to be done, and no one thought anything more about it.

That was kind of a non sequitur of an opening. Let me back up.

Shortly after Thanksgiving, the sergeant position opened up here in Wester. We were very excited about it because if T got the position, we would be able to stay here forever. We LOVE it here. Our house, the weather, the schools, the people, the proximity to the ranch - all of it! T was a really strong candidate and we felt very hopeful going into the interview.

Unfortunately, at the last minute, one of his co-workers decided he was really excited about the position, too. As he has 20+ years experience on T, we weren't terribly surprised when he got the position instead of T. And we like him, so we can't even be mad at him for it. Rats.

There are a few nebulous promotional prospects that might be coming up out here, but they depend on the cards falling just so. And even if they do open up, they would be available for guys who are already sergeants before they are open to guys that want to promote to sergeant. So now T is in a fever to promote.

So. There aren't any positions here.

Today T applied for a position six hours away near Ginormousville. A year and a half ago, I would have been turning cartwheels and packing boxes. Now? Not so much. If he gets it, we won't be going with him. At least not at first. Since the end goal is to get back here, we aren't in a hurry to move out there. For at least the remainder of the school year, the kids and I would be staying in Wester. From there, who knows? Back and forth for the summer, for sure. But the next school year? A total question mark.

I am zero percent excited about being a single parent. I know I can do it, but it is SO not what I signed up for. On the other hand, I need to support T in his career and this is what that looks like right now. So I'll do it. But I'm not gonna like it.

See? Not hard core.

Re-sale

2011-01-13T10:13:00.000-06:00

Now that I have hit 40 and the baby-making-factory is officially closed for business, I have to liquidate all of the kid stuff that I optimistically ~~hoarded~~ held on to. I have kept every stitch of clothing either of my kiddos ever wore in the hopes that there would be a third - and very well dressed - kid. So, that makes almost six years of girl clothes and four years of boy clothes. Not to mention all of the accouterments two kids require: pop-up cribs (like five of them); monitors; strollers; changing pads; diaper bags; baby carriers; breast pump; boppies. The list goes on and on.

I have been dressing the kids from consignment sales forever, so now it is my turn to contribute to a sale. Q had a growth spurt recently, so yesterday I was culling the stuff that was too little as I folded the laundry. That snowballed into ridding his closet of everything that was too small, which led to dragging out the bin of outgrown clothes. The poor kid hardly has anything left! He stayed the same size for so long that I haven't had a chance to buy anything in his current size!

Once I had sorted all of the clothes into summer and winter stacks (the sales are seasonal, I can only sell stuff for spring/summer in the upcoming sale) I was already tired of the project. There is just SO MUCH STUFF. And nowhere to put them until the sale. Blah.

Oh, my poor laundry room: dumping ground for all things homeless in Casa Critical Mass. I need a place to hang the clothes until they are prepped for the sale. With closet space at a premium, the laundry room it is. The only place available is in front of the window, so that will be pretty. Or not. Blah. Maybe I can call it a window treatment?

I managed to cobble together the pieces for a hanging rack from leftover parts of other projects. The stuff the contractor left on my front porch for a year has finally paid off! I had a closet-bar-hanger-thingy from building T's closet last year, and another one that didn't work out from Z's closet. There is about 40 feet of closet rod collecting dirt on my front porch. Luckily, there was a piece just the right size for my project!

Once my cordless drill is done charging (the cold sucked the charge right out of it!) I will be cooking with gas. Now all I have to do is attack the many bales of clothes in the attic... yikes! Once I get them all sorted, all I will have to do is enter them into the computer. And print the tags. And iron every stitch. And pin the clothes to the hangers. And pin the tags on. And cart them to the convention center.

Man, I am exhausted just thinking about it!

2011 House Plans

2011-01-12T12:10:00.002-06:00

The hubs is dead set on paying off the house this year, so we are officially in poverty mode. That said, there are still a bunch of projects around the house that I can do that a.) I already have the stuff for and b.) are free/cheaper than dirt. Here is a list from front to back:

Front Porch:

Install new front porch lights that I got for Christmas
Paint front door red
Paint porch swing (and possibly wooden rockers from my parents' house) black.

Foyer/Stairs:

Browbeat David-the-Contractor into finishing the stair railing (it still wobbles). You'd think that he would want to get this project finished before we hit the one-year mark next week. He said he'd be here today, but here I am writing this...
Hang family portraits on stair wall. This would include finally framing Q's baby portraits. The second child SO gets the shaft.
Hang art in entryway.
Get mirror for empty frame above entry table.
Paint hideous brass chandy black and top with adorable mini-shades that were in my formal dining room in my last house to replace the much-too-small fixture in the entry.

Living Room:

Find a place for the painting that used to hang over the fireplace. It was replaced by a gorg painting from my parents' house that was a better size.
Repair giant wicker flamingo that Holly mauled. I think I am actually going to cover the wicker form with braided fabric rope a la a braided rug. Colorful and not not missing vital parts! Cool!

Kitchen and Dining Room:
(Not pictured: messy/embarrassing state of my kitchen)

Remove hideous wallpaper.
Remove chair rail and upside-down crown molding.
Paint beige-on-beige harlequins on kitchen walls. I'm so stinkin' excited about this!
Build banquette.
Raise and re-cover Craig's-list wingback chairs to use as host chairs.

There are a ton of other non-cheap projects in the kitchen (new counters not held on with Scotch tape, an actual bar-height bar, built-ins, etc.), but alas, they won't be happening this year.

Laundry Room:
(Not pictured: hideously messy/embarrassing state of the ~~dumping ground~~ laundry room)

Make cafe curtains to hide my shame from the neighbors but still let in enough light to work.
Install more shelving/open storage for the less-used items from the kitchen
Possibly paint, but I have no idea what color.

Master Bedroom:

Install crown molding
Touch up paint (in the right light some areas are quite patchy).

Z's Room:

Paint yellow pine corner cabinet white
Wallpaper (okay, Contact Paper) the back of her shelves with SO cute green pattern
Sew pillow shams and second dust ruffle

If I want to get really crazy, I have an idea for a 'border' treatment around the ceiling that could be really cute, but I may save that for when other things are looking more finished.

Q's Room:

Finish rope detail around his ceiling
Put together his big-boy bed.
Buy/make big-boy bedding.

Kids' Bathroom:

Prime/paint sand and sky colors (like I had in the old house). Possibly with chair rail, but probably just paint treatment with palm trees.
Make frames to hang over the builder-grade giant mirror
Spray paint the TP holder to match other finishes in the bathroom.

Sewing Room/My Office:

Paint walls palest aqua.
Convert daybed to 'couch' (a small construction project) and upholster with fabulous cocoa-polka-dotted fabric.
Build custom desk that runs the length of the room with space for both my sewing machine and computer, with plenty of storage for sewing and crafting supplies.
Make a window treatment.

Guest Room:

Hang curtains that mom-in-law bought me.
Hang art.
Add accessories that haven't make it out of storage.

Guest Bath:

Find some art.
Circle border treatment like I saw at House*Tweaking, but with more colors.

Kids' Den:

Hang art - especially cool David Bromstad-esque deer portrait I made T for Christmas
Get kids' computer stations set up and running.
Find a home for all of the stuff in boxes from my parents' house.

I found the fabric I want to use for curtains in this room, but it will require some serious yardage (five windows!), so this may be a project for another year.

Oh, is that all? Looks like it will be a busy year, poverty-mode or not!

PS - I joined the Home Plans party at Nesting Place. People have big plans for this year!

Vile

2011-01-11T22:07:00.000-06:00

Short version: I made cauliflower and bacon gratin. I didn't even make the kids try it. Blech.

Long version: I signed up with a group called Bountiful Baskets in an effort to eat more and/or locally grown produce. For $15 you get literally a laundry basket of fresh fruit and vegetables. Now I don't have the best track record with veggies. They enter my fridge all fresh and hopeful and leave it wilted and slimy. The round's basket included a head of cauliflower. I am not opposed to broccoli's pale cousin, but my family? Not so much. So I decided to ~~disguise it in~~ make make it into a yummy cheese-butter-and-breadcrumb casserole.

OMG. It was SO awful. I wanted to wipe off my tongue with my napkin after the first bite. But then it was like a train wreck: I couldn't look away. I kept taking bites thinking that this one would taste okay; that I would finally get to the good part. Um, no.

Too many breadcrumbs and not enough cheese. It somehow managed to be both over seasoned and too bland. There wasn't enough liquid to even get the breadcrumbs damp and the minimum cooking time charred the cheese on the top. It was like eating an unseasoned shrub with a coating of sawdust sprinkled with charcoal. Gag!

I should have just served it with Ranch.

So I Have This Blog...

2011-01-11T14:48:00.000-06:00

So. December happened. Not that you could tell from the trusty ol' blog!

Lots of things happened:

Finally attended my first PTA meeting as a parent. Turned out to be just a 5th grade Christmas concert. Figures.
Got portraits taken of the spawn in their adorable Christmas regalia. They turned out... okay.
I hosted a cookie exchange. The hidden side benny to hosting? I got all the extra cookies for the gal who didn't show!
Z had her dance recital. Very cute. But quick. So quick that she was done with her number before GanGan got the video camera going. Rats! At least I got lots of stills.
Daddy's house sold, so I went down for several days to gather up the things from my childhood that I couldn't live without. Total sob fest. Lucked out and got movers to arrive my second day there. They beat me back to Wester!
Attended a Girls' Night/Gift Exchange with my besties. Was so nice hanging out with them without having to mess with kiddos every few minutes.
Took Z to her first ballet. We watched her cousins dance in The Nutcracker. Z was a little distracted by the cousin and friend that went with us, but had a great time and enjoyed the dancing.
Hosted Christmas for the in-laws and two of my friends and their families. It was lovely. Great family. Great friends. Great food. Made it most of the way through without crying, but still missed Daddy a lot.
Had a fun New Year's Eve at home playing games with friends. Watched fireworks from the (new) upstairs window.

And a few things didn't happen:

I didn't ever finish decorating the house. The stair rail on the wall had garland, but only a few ornaments and no bows. (But the living room looked FABULOUS!)
I didn't send out the family gifties. They are sitting forlornly in the laundry room waiting for me to make the dreaded trip to the post office. Blech.
I didn't take the kids to look at Christmas lights. This is a bummer because Wester does a nice drive-through display and I had hoped to do this whole I'm-a-good-parent-building-memories-with-my-children thing. With hot cocoa.
I didn't finish my Christmas cards. So now I have 80+ copies of the (much doctored) aforementioned Christmas portraits sitting forlornly in the laundry room waiting for me to make them into ~~Christmas~~ New Year's cards.
I didn't stick to my diet. (See: 'Hosted cookie exchange' above)

Hope your December/Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa/New Year was great!

Happy Turkey Day!

2010-11-25T00:19:00.003-06:00

This video makes me sad for the turkey, but it made me laugh anyway. I hope you have lots to be thankful for this year!

A Month of Thanksgiving: Days 23 and 24

2010-11-24T22:00:00.000-06:00

23. I am thankful that I was able to go to the crazy over-crowded grocery store unaccompanied by my lovely children. Something about the combination of my kiddos and the shopping makes me want to grind my teeth. You know, more than I already do.

24. Today I am thankful yet again for my girlfriends. They came over today to help me tame the squalor that is my house. We got distracted by chit-chat, so no actual squalor-taming was accomplished, but I was super glad they came anyway.

Mid-quilt Squee!

2010-11-22T17:00:00.000-06:00

After moving the sewing machine into the (boxes-from-Daddy's-house-filled) game/craft area, I continue to wrangle the quilt through my tiny sewing machine.

Perhaps this should be a new Olympic sport. Amish women the world over could compete in Quilt Wrestling! There could be different divisions! Hand quilting! Machine Quilting! Hand Tying! Oh, the excitement! Or maybe not.

Anyhoo, I love, love, lovity LOVE how the quilt is coming together. It's not done yet, but I had to share a little mid-quilt photo because I'm so stinkin' excited!

A Month of Thanksgiving: Day 21 and 22

2010-11-22T16:50:00.000-06:00

21. I am thankful that I got to celebrate an early Thanksgiving with my aunt, cousins, and their children. I love having family close! Also? I am thankful Cousin N liked my Cranberry Salad enough to keep the leftovers. I am making it again for Thursday, and there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Unless that thing is pie. Which is a whole other story!

22. I am thankful my friend and her kids joined us for a play date at McD's. Her daughter is Z's best friend, and her son is just Q's age. And? She is delightful! Also, I am thankful for the two new moms who came to the play date for the first time. Meet Up just keeps working its magic!

Trick My Comforter

2010-11-21T10:19:00.001-06:00

I (finally) finished the topper for Z's souped-up comforter set. I could have a TV show like that car show where they take the plain car and make it crazy cool, but for inexpensive bedding! Trick My Comforter!

The next step, actually quilting the topper onto the comforter, was at hand. I have never quilted anything in my life. I just jumped in like I usually do, assuming I could do it. After a quick consult with Google, I was off and sewing. How hard could it be, right?

Really hard, as it turns out.

The first seam was easy-peasy: just a straight seam across the top. No problem. Then I ventured into quilting territory. I had no idea quilting was a full contact sport! I actually worked up a sweat wrestling the comforter through my machine to attach the center panel! My machine is on a desk next to a wall. Trying to get a full sized comforter through the tiny inside area of my machine and then running into the wall? Insane. Clearly, I didn't think this plan all the way through!

In true Scarlett O'Hara fashion, I decided to think about it later. Instead, I finished pin basting the layers together (safety-pinning the layers together). See how I used that quilting term like I know what I am doing? Thanks Google University! Then I pinned the edges down and figured out how to work the corners. I had hoped to do mitered corners, but my imprecise sewing made that impossible. It took a couple of hours (as measured by Tivo'd programs), but I finally got everything to lay flat and look nice.

Today's plan? Sew the straight seams then take another run at the interior quilting. I'm sweating just thinking about it! I think I will move my machine to a table with more space around it. Pictures soon!

A Month of Thanksgiving: Days 18 - 20

2010-11-20T13:31:00.000-06:00

18. I am thankful for my Thursday lunch date with my girlies. Especially since I am kid-less with Q in Mom's Day Out! I am also thankful for Z's dance school. Great instruction and age-appropriate choreography. Yay! Can't wait for the Christmas mini-recital next month!

19. I am thankful for TheraFlu. It's a miracle in a mug.

20. I am thankful for the lovely fall weather that allowed me to send the kids outside to play this morning. It let me rest my plague-ridden body on the couch while they burned off energy beyond my range of hearing. Yay for free-range children!

A Month of Thanksgiving: Days 15 - 17

2010-11-17T13:12:00.000-06:00

15. Monday I was thankful for a play date with my friends. Gotta love getting Q all tired out while having some adult conversation! The Big Mac didn't hurt, either. (Did I mention that since I got back from my dad's my resist-er is broken?)

16. Yesterday I was thankful for being a stay at home mom. I got to chaperon Z's kindegarten field trip. We had big fun in the corn maze and on the hay ride. Getting squirted with fresh milk - straight from the cow! - was an unexpected bonus. The whole day was a welcome reminder that leaving the classroom was a good move on my part. I need to save my patience for children who share my DNA. Finally, I am thankful that my friend Jules could pick Q up from school with only last minute notice. Such a good friend!

17. Today I am thankful for a quiet day at home so I can work on getting my house presentable for Thanksgiving! Unfortunately, I am feeling drawn to projects upstairs instead of the more pressing downstairs ones. Oh well, they have got to get done some time, right?

Feeling Forty

2010-11-16T22:41:00.001-06:00

Boy, once you hit 40 things go downhill fast! I threw my back out this morning. While I was sleeping. Seriously, I was fine when I went to bed and crippled when I woke up. Awesome.

Apart from random sleep injuries, the first weeks of being 40 has been good. My birthday was big fun (yay!) even if I didn't get to make the annual pilgrimage to San Diego to visit Sister K (boo!). It started out like any other Wednesday. Q and I headed out to story time at the college. Education students practice their read-aloud skills. The day's story was If You Give a Pig a Party. The students had us all wear party hats. Very festive! They read several pig books and we sang and did pig activities. We both had a great time.

Mid-day, I had a mini 'significant birthday' morbid melt-down. I made the mistake of doing the dismal Alzheimer's math: if I follow in my mom's foot steps, I only have 20 years left before I start losing my marbles. Z would only be 25. Gah. Luckily, Chica talked me down from the ledge. Whew!

Bun took the afternoon off from work and once I had picked Z up from school we went to get pedicures. She presented me with a sparkly tiara and a button that says 'It's all about me!' Love! On the way we stopped for bubble teas. I haven't had one of those since I lived in Ginormousville! We had spa pedicures with the works. I even got an extra 30 minutes of foot rubbing. Aaaaah! Bliss. I just wish I had gotten the guy pedicurist. The teeny tiny gal that did mine couldn't work up much pressure with her teeny tiny fingers. But still! A foot rub! Awesome!

Once our toes were gorgeous, we headed out for dinner. T had made a reservation at Genghis Grill. he picked it out without any input from me - and it was exactly what I would have chosen on my own. Good husband! The gals and their husbands met us there. Unfortunately, one of the girls had a stomach bug so they couldn't make it, but the rest of us had a great time. An evening without kids? What's not to like? All through dinner we kept saying, 'This is so fun! Why don't we do this more often?'

We ended the evening with a fabulous Italian cream cake courtesy of Chica. It had swirls and polka dots! Does my girl know me or what? So. Much. Fun.

I found out after the fact that Chica was the puppeteer orchestrating my birthday from all the way across the state. She was burning up the phone lines the whole week leading up to my birthday. When Bun was telling me about Chica's machinations she turned to me and said, "Chica really LOVES you. She was determined that you would have a great birthday!"

With friends like these how could I help it?

A Month of Thanksgiving: Days 13 and 14

2010-11-14T21:57:00.001-06:00

Man, I stink at this posting-every-day business! I have totally gotten out of the habit. Here are the next couple of days of thankful!

13. I am thankful Q's cold/allergies haven't triggered a full-on asthmatic episode. Who knew you could be thankful for sniffles? Also? Thankful for the good drugs in his nebulizer and his willingness to take his treatments.

14. Today I am thankful for a mostly uninterrupted afternoon playing on Photoshop. I designed a quilt for Q's big-boy-bed. I will be using pieces of western shirts that belonged to my dad. I will probably cry a lot while I am sewing it, but when it is finished? Wrapping up in it will be like getting a big Daddy hug. More detailed post on that later!

A Month of Thanksgiving: Day 11 and 12

2010-11-12T14:13:00.000-06:00

11. I am thankful that T got home from a week of training in Austin and rescued me from a week of single parenting.

12. I am thankful that Z's school schedules fun and educational field trips - and that they have the sense to cancel them when the wind is blowing 30 miles per hour and the temp is below 60 degrees.

A Month of Thanksgiving: Days 1 - 10

2010-11-10T17:42:00.002-06:00

As it has been a hard couple of months here at Casa Critical Mass, I decided that I would put some effort into seeing the things that are good in my life. Each day this month, I will post something for which I am thankful. Since I am good at ideas and slow at follow-through, I will do the first ten items today. Feel free to play along! Grab the button from the sidebar. Gobble, gobble!

1. I am thankful for the good man that was my father. In all that he said and did, he taught me how to be an honorable person.

2. I am thankful for my sisters. Laughing or crying, life is better with them by my side.

3. I am thankful for my husband. He has loved me through thick and ~~thin~~ thicker. Clearly, he loves me for what is inside - a rare and precious gift.

4. I am thankful for my two beautiful healthy children. Enough said!

5. I am thankful for my in-laws. I truly won the in-laws lottery. They love me like I am theirs and don't hesitate to drive all the way across the state to help out/attend a soccer games and/or dance recitals/give the hubs and me a chance to go on a date. Wow. Just wow.

6. I am thankful for extended family the next town over. I love that Z and Q get to hang out and spend holidays with their cousins. I always wished for that kind of relationship with my cousins and am glad my kids get to experience it.

7. I am thankful for my friends, old and new. They fill my life with laughter and are WAY cheaper than therapy! In that vein, I am also grateful for Meet Up. It led me to my great group o' gals here in Wester.

8. I am thankful for my small herd of dogs. They are shed-y and slobber-y and ill-behaved and wonderful. I love that my smallest dog thinks he is big and and my biggest dog thinks she is small. Mostly I am thankful for the buckets and buckets of unconditional adoration.

9. I am thankful for my health. As a middle-aged-out-of-shape-round person, I am lucky I have good genes.

10. I am thankful that soccer season is over, if only for a little while.

Losing Daddy

2010-11-08T22:25:00.000-06:00

So. My dad didn't make it. I have been working my way through the stages of grief. The denial part was done as soon as he was gone, but I seem to be spending a lot of time commuting between anger and depression.

I feel robbed. It seems to my never-been-to-med-school self that if better decisions had been made my father would still be here. Why did they continue the chemo so long? Shots to boost his white blood cell count followed with another round of chemo the next week. WTF? Why did they give him such crazy high doses of steroids? Why did they remove his spleen without ever identifying the source of the infection that hospitalized him and delayed the surgery? Why, why, why didn't they listen when Sister K said he was getting weaker?

Next stop? Depression. I have been hyper-vigilant about taking my crazy pills, but it is hard to tell if I am slipping. This is what sucks about the crazy: it makes you completely question the validity of your feelings. Am I eating like a linebacker/sleeping 14 hours a day/losing interest in things I enjoy as a completely normal response to my father's death? Or is it just that I need a pharmaceutical adjustment? Gah.

I am managing some semblance of normalcy. I managed to get Z's costume sewn and the pumpkins carved, but despite my mom-in-laws best efforts, my house looks like squatters live in it. My cooking skills have regressed to early college student. Lots of frozen pizza and mac and cheese. I do manage to get a fruit or vegetable into the kids at every meal, so at least I don't have to worry about scurvy. (Or is it rickets? I can never remember the difference.)

At least once a day I start to pick up the phone to ask my dad a question. He was my own personal Google. My dad knew everything. He was an engineer and a computer programmer and a gardener. His moral compass never failed. If he didn't know the solution to my problem (rare), he would think it over and call me back when he figured it out. I can't believe that resource is gone.

Daddies are supposed to be immortal. He was so alive right up to the end. I didn't really believe his time could be so short. I had already gotten his Christmas present.

So sad.

Letters to F.A.

2010-10-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

My in-laws felt pretty strongly that Z and Q shouldn't come for Daddy's memorial. As memorials go, his was more of a celebration of his life rather than a lament of his death but I could see where they were coming from. At any rate, I didn't feel strongly enough (or possibly strong enough?) to fight them on it.

Even so, I felt like the kids needed some kind of ritual to mark F.A.'s passing and say their good-byes. (My dad named himself F.A. - short for Favorite Ancestor - when I said that 'Jefe' (spanish for boss) was not a suitable grandpa name.)

Almost four years ago, I lost my friend Heather to scleroderma. I had just had Q, so I was unable to attend her funeral. Heather requested a balloon release at her funeral. I released a balloon in her honor from Small Town. It made a real impression on Z. Even at two, she seemed to really grasp that I was sad because Heather had gone to heaven and wouldn't be coming back.

I figured this was as good a way as any for the kids to tall F.A. good-bye. We drew/colored pictures and wrote notes to F.A. We tied the notes to helium balloons and released them into the sky. I told the kids we were sending letters to F.A. in heaven.

We watched the balloons float up into a perfectly clear blue sky until we couldn't see them any more.

Good-bye F.A. You were a great grandfather, father and man. We miss you.

Gone

2010-10-16T21:47:00.005-05:00

My father was the best man I ever knew. His early years on a ranch in west Texas taught him the value of hard work. His education in Civil Engineering and Aeronautics put his intelligence and creativity to good use. He joked that he could build an outhouse on the moon.

A devoted husband, his 50-year marriage to his high school sweetheart revealed his softer side. He was a loving and loyal spouse. A man with high standards, he expected a lot from his three daughters, and was endlessly proud of all their accomplishments. He was relentlessly fair; all, especially his children, were treated equally.

Thirty years of Air Force service, as both a pilot and an engineer, showed him to be both patriotic and disciplined. He returned to college in his retirement, earning an MBA. His lifelong love of learning fit perfectly with his passion for computers. From his earliest TRS-80 to powerful PCs he built himself, he continued learning new skills his entire life.

In 1992, he joined the Rotary Club. In Rotary, he found an organization that lived up to his high ethical standards. While in Rotary, he was a driving force behind his club's Sporting Clay shoot, which raises thousands of dollars for the Boys and Girls Club of America. He developed and maintained web sites for the his Rotary Club, his Rotary district, Theater Victoria, and Red Cross.

Diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) in 1997, he developed complications over the summer and died Tuesday, October 12, 2010 after a valiant fight. He is survived by his wife, his daughters, two grandchildren and two sisters. He was 72.

A memorial was held on Saturday, October 16, 2010. In lieu of flowers, we requested donations to Rotary’s efforts to eradicate Polio. Even in his death, he is making the world a better place.

He will be missed.

He's a Fighter

2010-10-10T17:29:00.000-05:00

My dad is sick. Really sick. Like put-your-affairs-in-order sick. I haven't written much about it because it didn't seem like it was my story to tell. Now? My head is so full of it that I think I need to write about it just to relieve the pressure.

Thirteen years ago, my dad was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. If you have to have Leukemia, this is the kind to have. It has few symptoms and you usually die of something else before it gets you. And for a long time, this was true for my dad.

Then his white blood cell count started getting crazy high, so they did chemo. The chemo did just what it was supposed to do and all was well. For a little while.

A year or so later, he had to have chemo again. And since then, the intervals between treatments have gotten shorter and shorter. Until, at last, the treatment triggered a cascade of scary medical side effects that have kept him in and out of the hospital since June.

First, there was hemolytic anemia. His already abundant white blood cells started attacking his red blood cells and eating them like Pac-Man. He had a LOT of blood transfusions and took steroids to boost his red blood cell production. The chemo continued.

He kept getting weaker and weaker. Finally he took himself to the hospital on the brink of a diabetic coma. The massive doses of steroids had caused his pancreas to shut down. They had a hard time getting his sugar in order, but finally that was under control and Daddy started his new life as an insulin dependant diabetic. The chemo and blood transfusions continued.

And still he kept getting weaker. He took himself to the hospital (again) with desperate shortness of breath. It turned out that he had multiple blood clots in his lungs. No wonder it was hard to breathe! He had to have a filter put into his femoral artery to screen out future clots.

He couldn't take the regular medicines for the treatment of blood clots because his blood chemistry was so wonky, so he just had to wait for the clots to dissolve by themselves. This left him easily tired and often out of breath. For a 30-year military man, this was unacceptable. The chemo was finally discontinued, but the transfusions continued.

Finally, it was decided that he needed to have his spleen removed. The spleen is where your body destroys red blood cells, so if they removed his, his red blood cells should be able to remain ahead of the killer white blood cells. They yanked it and he looked like he was getting better. His blood counts were right on target and looking more and more normal.

But the further out from the surgery he got, the more tired he became. Finally, he started having trouble working up enough energy to speak. Though Sister K kept reporting his decline to the nurses, they kept saying, 'He's just tired from the surgery.' and 'His blood counts are normal!' Finally, he became disoriented and stopped making any sense. Then the medical staff started taking her seriously.

By the time they figured out that he had and infection - and no immune system to fight it - he was septic. That means that the infection was in his blood and therefore throughout his body. The sepsis caused his kidneys to shut down, his lungs to fill up, his pulse to speed up and his blood pressure to drop like a stone. He has been in ICU for over a week.

In the last few days, he has made some infinitesimal improvements, but with a million different IV fluids going in and no kidney function to get it out, he has blown up like a balloon. They put him on dialysis to lower the fluids in his body. But dialysis lowers blood pressure and his is so scary low (even with BP increasing meds!) that they aren't able to remove as much fluid as they need to for there to be room for the medicines that could save him to go in.

We are in the world's slowest race: dialysis output v. IV fluids in. At some point, all we are doing is prolonging his discomfort with no satisfactory ending. We aren't there yet, but we are getting close. At this point, Daddy is still completely lucid and able to direct his care. So far, his iron will has been working in his favor. I am very afraid what will happen when his will turns away from living.

I hate this.

RAW(e) Photo Competition: Girly

2010-10-04T10:08:00.000-05:00

When I saw the theme of this week's competition, I just had to enter! I have lots of girly photos of Z, but this one remains one of my favorites.

PS - You can play along here.

Room Mothering

2010-10-04T09:57:00.000-05:00

A million years ago, when I was a classroom teacher, I always dreaded party days. I taught in the 'hood and there was never any parental involvement. So in my mind, class party = lots of extra work, 22 sugared up kids, and no help.

With this in mind, I have always told my kids' teachers that I would be happy to help out with whatever they needed help with. When I mentioned this to Z's kindergarten teacher, she said the position of Room Mother was open, if I was interested. With visions of bringing in cupcakes a couple times a year, I agreed.

Then I got a note home about the Room Mother Orientation meeting. Wait, wha...? Orientation? A mandatory meeting? WTF?

Once I got over the shock, I arranged care for Q (Thanks JC!) and gamely attended the meeting. How bad could it be?

Let me just say, these women are hard core. There was a bound Room Mother manual. With tabs.

I quickly figured out that these were the type of women who would cut you over a position on the PTA. Like something out of a Lifetime movie. Not that any of them were anything but nice, nice, nice! I did have a moment of high-school-like panic about being in the room with the 'popular' girls, though.

At Z's school, the Room Mom's primary job is to set up/run a booth at the Fall Fun Day (aka: Halloween Carnival. Shhhh! Don't tell!). There is fund-raising and letter writing and money collecting. We have to find a (cheap) Christmas ornament with a place for a picture that relates to the continent our kids are studying - for the entire grade level. Australia, in Z's case.

Luckily for me, there is another mom on the kindergarten team who makes my alpha-mom aspirations laughable. Before the meeting was even held, she had selected our theme for Fun Day and painted a brilliant sign that looks like it came from a professional sign maker. Wow.

I am so out of my league.

It Lives!

2010-09-30T23:05:00.000-05:00

Turns out that cycling is a whole lot easier when you have air in your tires. How about that? The one-mile ride to Q's school was a piece of cake. When I started feeling a bit of quad strain on the way home, I had a moment of panic - until I notice that I was on a slight incline and had a head wind. Whew!

Apart from fitness, riding the bike had some other unexpected side benefits. Q is in the midst of some terrible-three-type control issues and wanted nothing to do with going to school this morning. But when he found out we were going in the bike? He could hardly wait to leave! I even got compliments from another mom when she saw me getting ready to leave. It boggled her mind that I could bike him to school.

I have decided that my pink mom-bike needs a name. Something as prissy and silly as she is. Penelope rides again!

Dog Days

2010-09-25T11:30:00.000-05:00

"Daddy, there are too many dogs at my house," I announce on our semi-daily phone chat.

He paused for a minute and replied, "That is a sentence I never thought I'd hear you say."

It feels like a kennel here at Casa Critical Mass. I have my usual crazy complement of four and have added some to the mix. I must have lost my mind!

Scout the Golden Retriever is making a guest appearance while T's parents finish up their last month in Colorado. He is old and slow, so he doesn't require much work, but he is the size of a Shetland pony - I have tumbleweeds of Scout-colored fur blowing around the baseboards to prove it! He's been here for almost a month and may be staying well into October. Not a hardship as I am his favorite person in the world (much to Grandma's chagrin!).

We also have Bun's dog, Lucy. I promised to take care of her months before I knew Scout was coming to stay. Lucy is a spastic little Golden-Greyhound mix. Sweet and well behaved, but very high strung. She is the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. The other dogs are laid back and lazy and Lucy gets them whipped up into a frenzy. She's not doing anything wrong, but she has tipped the scales on the rest of the dogs behavior.

With SIX dogs in the house? Every bird is barked at. And car. And neighbor that dares to leave his house. Every lap is competed for. Has your lap ever been the field of battle between 200 pounds of Labrador Retriever? With a little fat pom vying for your shoulder at the same time? Every kibble is scarfed up. In record time lest any of the other dogs try to get a bite in edgewise. Every surface is covered in fur. My Dyson can't keep up!

And the backyard? A minefield of dog bombs. Blarg.

Ah, but when they are all sleeping peacefully around you, you can't help but love them.

Score!

2010-09-23T23:47:00.000-05:00

Well, not really. Z has had two soccer games and lost both of them about a million to three. At the first game, I'm not entirely sure our team, The Ladybugs, understood that the objective of the game was to get the ball into the goal... By the end of the third quarter, a light seemed to have come on for a couple of the girls. Does it make me a bad parent that I am glad Z was one of the players who sucked the least?

In our defense, none of our team has played soccer before. Both teams we were against played together last year, too. And were hard core. We are in the five-year-old league and those teams have gone out and found sponsors to buy fancy uniforms. Wow. And I thought I was being all alpha-mom by making bows for the whole team and ordering funky soccer socks. (Red with black polka dots! Squee!)

And now? Pictures! Of my little soccer star!

Feeding Anger

2010-09-19T22:45:00.002-05:00

I just ate a handful of peanut butter pretzels because I am mad at my husband.

Yeah, that'll teach him.

Warrenty Expired

2010-09-17T22:34:00.001-05:00

Yet another fun-filled doctor appointment, optometry-style.

I have yellowing of the lenses. Diagnosis: pre-cataracts.
My macula (of macular degeneration fame) isn't all sparkly like macula are supposed to be. Diagnosis: pre-macular degeneration.
There is a giant hole in my field of vision, a symptom of glaucoma, that caused me to flunk my peripheral vision screening. Luckily(?), it is probably caused by a small growth on my left optic nerve.
I have some kind of health issue (blood pressure/cholesterol/diabetes/thyroid) causing me to have massively dry eyes, which leads to
Calluses! On my eyeballs! On the up side, the calluses probably keep me from feeling how uncomfortable my contact lenses are. Um, yay?
For the first time ever, having my eyes dilated rendered me close to helpless. I was safe to drive my car (distance vision wasn't affected) but couldn't see to sign my name to pay for my appointment. At my weekly lady's lunch afterward, there was much razzing about my blown pupils and did my policeman husband know about my recreational drug use?

The only good news is that I have not contracted presbyopia from Sister K, as I previously suspected. (I know that you can't catch presbyopia, I just started noticing symptoms after Sister K described her new-found need of/resistance to cheaters.) And, I don't need bifocals. Barely. For now.

On the down side, my contact prescription is so wacked out that they don't have anything even close to my prescription in stock. They sent me home in two ill-fitting contacts that make me squint worse than my outdated prescription did! The special order trail lenses have yet to arrive - a week after the appointment! Blah.

I also discovered that Wester is where every pair of boring glasses frames goes to die. When I finally found a pair that flipped my skirt up, they were CRAZY expensive and the shop didn't take my pidly insurance. More blah.

I guess I'll be experimenting with a little internet frame shopping. I just hope I can find something to accommodate my massive cranium. As most women's glasses make me look like I wandered into the kids' department, that will be yet another adventure. I am hoping to find some really funky cat-eye frames. Rhinestones a total plus!

What the heck happened? On the inside I'm still just a kid! Will someone send the memo to the rest of me? Thanks.

Funny Fail

2010-09-14T09:51:00.000-05:00

see more EpicFail

I think this church might need to be a little more 'of the world'...

Progress Report

2010-09-12T23:52:00.000-05:00

Diet is going well, but I sabotaged myself with a trip to Sam's today. Hard to resist yummy snacks purchased for the kiddos. Luckily, I bought lots of gorgeous produce, too.
Exercise? Not so much. Was thwarted by the lovely pink bicycle. But cleaning house burns calories, too, no?
Weight lost since the horrible 'before' pictures: 12 pounds.
Yahoo!

Duck Season

2010-09-11T10:50:00.002-05:00

Happy hunting season!

Prodigy

2010-09-09T21:44:00.000-05:00

The inevitable has happened. I knew it was coming, but it still took me by surprise. I have become a soccer mom. I do not, for the record, drive a mini-van, so there's that.

I signed Z up for soccer this fall. Our first practice was on Tuesday. So far? I am not really impressed with Z's coach. She didn't attend the coaches meeting, so we were the last ones to hear from our coach. She put off reserving a field until she just had to take what was left: a field so far away that it is practically in the next state. Oh, and she didn't show up for our first practice. Awesome.

Z and I drove out to BFE and found the soccer field and waited for everyone to show up. And waited. And waited. Did I miss a memo?

Luckily, I was the mom prepared for everything. We had brought Z's shiny new (pink!) soccer ball with us, so we had a practice just the two of us.

My girl has mad skills. Seriously? I knew she was a pretty good kicker, but I had no idea she would be a good dribbler and passer. I played soccer in high school, so I ran her through some drills. She mastered all of them in no time at all. By the end of our 45-minute 'practice' she was good enough at ball-handling to steal the ball away from me! You go, Z!

And since nothing says 'proud mama' like shaky low-res cell phone video with crappy audio? Enjoy!

Widow Season

2010-09-09T14:30:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again, the time when T takes it upon himself to protect the world from the ravages of small-ish not-very-smart birds. That's right. It is dove season. I mean, seriously? A bird that is dumb enough to get run over by a car deserves to be food, right? The question (for me, anyway) is why would you want to eat them?

At best a whole dove makes four bites - and those bites can vary from charred to raw on one tiny bird. Not to mention the danger of ruining your very expensive dental work chomping down on a bit of bird shot. And the fact that they taste like liver. Why do we eat these things again?

Z won T's heart forever by declaring dove meat (carefully selected by her father) to be delicious. Between the two of them, they picked 15 tiny carcasses clean. Me? I am on a diet. A diet that doesn't include liver-y teeth-endangering game birds.

As if dove weren't enough (in)edible game, duck season opens this weekend. But only the tiny ducks (teal). One size up from dove and just as organ-y. Yay! So T will head out after work to hunt dove, then get up obscenely early to go stand in the water to shoot ducks. I don't know whether to hope his hunt is successful or not!

Oh, did I mention that they have spotted a 12-foot alligator in his duck pond? If he's not careful, I'll be more than a hunting widow! Awesome.

Flat Line

2010-09-09T09:28:00.000-05:00

Doctor, the patient is dead.

This would be very sad if I weren't talking about bicycle tires, huh? After Tuesday's debacle, T (optimistically) filled up my tires on his way to work this morning. He warned me to check them before I left and if they had lost any air to abandon all hope.

The tires seemed firm enough when we loaded up, but I was understandably skittish. My quads still ache! So this time I decided to take a test run. Fool me once and all of that.

Out of the gate, everything felt fine. We made it to the end of our cul de sac before I started to feel the tell-tale drag. I hopped off to check the back tire and, sure enough, it was a little mushier than it had been in the garage. Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor - or in this case, caution is better than burning thighs and long walks in the rain - we high-tailed it back to the house.

So I dropped Q off in the trusty mom-mobile and I am off for slime tires. Better luck next week, right?

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pre-School

2010-09-07T22:37:00.000-05:00

In keeping with my new better 'life style,' I decided that I would take Q to school on my shiny new bicycle. I got it for Mother's Day and it was just what I wanted: retro styling, big cushy mom-seat, no gears. I love it! It is so PINK! Squee! (The no gears thing isn't as crazy as it first sounds. A.) I am a spaz and would never use the gears; and B.) we don't have hills in Wester.)

We have been riding bikes - or, in my case, pulling a wee chariot - all summer on pleasant evenings when there was no danger of getting struck by lightning. Which is to say, not very often because west Texas seems to have evening thunder storms more often than not. All of this is to say that I felt quite confident that taking Q the mile up the road to his school should be no sweat. (Pun entirely intended!)

With lunches packed and cameras in hand, we packed up the bike trailer like we were setting out on a cross-country expedition. Q could barely peek out from beneath the purses and nap pads and first-day-of-school flotsam. It was with bright hearts and big smiles that we took off down the driveway toward Q's education destination.

About a quarter of the way: (breathing hard) Wow! It has really been a while since I went for a bike ride!

About way way: Huff! Puff! Man, I am seriously out of shape. My legs are on FIRE! Pant!

About three-quarters of the way: Gasp! Sob! The pain! Make it stop!

As I turn in to the parking lot: (Catching a glimpse of the rear tire as I check on Q) Is that...? No. Way. My @!#$% tires are flat? ALL FOUR OF THEM?!!?

And then it started to rain.

The end.

D Day

2010-09-02T21:08:00.000-05:00

When we got back from vacation, I uploaded these pictures to my computer:

I. had. no. idea. I barely recognized myself! In the first picture, especially, I thought I was looking good. I was planning on using a picture from that day as our Christmas card, for heaven's sake! Every single picture from our vacation was a contender for the 'before' picture in a weight loss ad.

So. Where high cholesterol, high triglycerides, and elevated blood sugar weren't enough to get my (big) rear end off the couch and on a diet, maybe two weeks of vacation photos where Jabba the Hut could have been my stunt double will be.

It has begun. Again. For real this time. No, really!

To be continued...

Neighbor Kid Redeemed

2010-09-02T20:32:00.000-05:00

Z and Q were playing out front while I was messing around in the garden. I was raking leaves out from under our bushes (about time - they were last year's!) in preparation for cedar mulch and the installation of a micro-sprinkler system (more on that in another post. It is SO freakin' cool!) Z sees NK and asks if she can invite him to play. In the front yard, sans dogs, natch. I said sure and went back to my obsessive raking.

I finished raking and watched NK go by on his Ripstick (a twisty skate-board-y thing) pulling Z in the wagon.

I finished pouring out the first bag of mulch and watched NK go by on his Ripstick pulling Z in the wagon.

I finished pouring out the tenth bag of mulch and watched NK go by on his Ripstick pulling Z in the wagon.

Fearing that Z had roped NK into a life of indentured servitude, I called out that maybe he didn't want to spend his entire afternoon pulling her around in her wagon. Perhaps they could find a different way to play.

NK replied that it was okay, so I told him I didn't want him to feel pressured to cart her around.

His reply? "No, really! I don't feel anything!"

Okay. Maybe he's not that bad.

Gratuitous Moose Pictures

2010-08-31T21:12:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are some pictures from our Colorado moose encounter. I think T took about 200 pictures (literally), so there were quite a few to sort through! What does it say about us as parents that we take many more pictures of wildlife than we do of our kids? Hmmm.

Adolescent pair...

handsome and...

FLIRTING with me!

Then, OMG, then, a cow and twins(!)

Who swam across the lake! Right to us!

Moose Mama munching some grind-age.


And this little gal looks like a stuffed animal! Of course, if I tried to hug her, she would hoof me to death.

Mah Bay-bee!!!

2010-08-26T21:29:00.000-05:00

Holy cow! Could she be any gorgeous-er? When did my baby get to be so big?

You can tell from her half-hearted smile that she is feeling a little nervous. Interestingly, even though she did look so grown up, and in spite of T's predictions, I didn't shed a tear. Z did.

On the third day of school when she got out of the car in the drop-off line and walked into the building all by herself? Sobs! She looked so little! And her backpack was as big as she was! And she ran in without even looking back! Sniffle!

I am super proud of my big school girl! She is doing great!

Oh, she wanted me to mention that she picked out her first-day-o'-school dress ALL BY HERSELF. She was tickled to pick out the accessories, too!

Not a Moment Too Soon

2010-08-25T22:33:00.000-05:00

Well, kindergarten happened. Thank goodness! The last few days before school started had me hanging on to my sanity with an increasingly tenuous grip. But I have to say, this back to school thing? Is kicking my butt. Phew, I'm pooped! Z, on the other hand, is not. School seems to have revved her engine! Um, yay?

So, here's a breakdown of first day adventures:

We had to park several blocks away and walk to the school. When I got Z situated in the cafeteria with her class, my normally intrepid offspring turned to me with big scared eyes and attached herself to me like a leech. Wha... huh? My girl who isn't scared of anything CRIED! I ended up sitting cris-cross-applesauce with the kindergartners until the morning assembly was finished. The only reason I was able to escape was because the principal dismissed the parents. When Z started to cling and cry, I told her I had to go - the principal said so!
School bus = fail. Not that Z rides it, but I thought it was funny: The school bus didn't get the new parking memo. It got trapped in the inside lane and had to make a sharp right turn. It missed. And hit the school. Turning the already crazy morning drop off into a total fuster cluck. Welcome back to school!
Clearly, lunch in the cafeteria wasn't explained to Z. (Or she wasn't listening, a distinct possibility.) She followed her classmates to the table then noticed that she didn't have anything to eat. She reported indignantly, "I had to go get it myself!" Poor little princess!
Do they make hearing aides in kindergarten size? At the end of the day, parents putt-putt through the pick-up lanes while the teachers radio ahead to your kid's section and yet another teacher escorts them to the cars. I made it all the way up to the front of the line and still no Z. We ended up holding up the line for five minutes or so while they tracked her down. (Spoiler alert: The same thing happened again the second day of school!)
End of the day report? She. Loved. It. Yay! They had big fun on a scavenger hunt/tour of the school! There are several kids from her preschool in her class/grade! She got to drink pink milk! Just like Lola! She got a good behavior stamp! She needs a new full-sized backpack to carry all of her important kindergarten homework!
Yep, homework. You have to expect that the talented and gifted magnet would be big fans, huh? Though on the first day? I had WAY more homework than she did. I swear they sent home a dozen forms for me to fill out. I am getting writer's cramp just thinking about it!
Last words before she went to sleep: "Oh, boy! I get to go to kindergarten again tomorrow!"

Speaking of going to sleep, I need to head that way myself. The 6:45 alarm comes so. very. early. Zzzzzz.

Construction: Day 4,893,339

2010-08-21T23:28:00.000-05:00

Attic still not done. Just kill me.

We are down to maybe a dozen small-ish items on the remodel. And have been since before we left for Colorado. If I had a dollar for every time the contractor said, "We'll get this knocked out tomorrow," I could have PAID FOR THE WHOLE FREAKING PROJECT. Unfortunately, the biggest thing yet to be completed is the attic. We have tons of stuff hanging around upstairs waiting for attic space to live in.

Just yesterday, he showed up to see what needed to be completed in the attic. (An hour after he said he would arrive, but who's keeping track?) First, he said if T would help him, he would deck the whole attic and not charge us. Huh? If the homeowner does the work himself... what? Then he said he didn't realize how much room there was up there and he had to go get a crew, but would be right back.

*Crickets.*

We never saw him again.

That evening, a neighbor over at the in-law's new place called to say that the garage and gate to the property had been wide open all week. T called the contractor to find out what the heck was up. He said he'd left it open because he was expecting some deliveries, but that he would swing by and close it that evening. Oh, and was 9:00 too early to start work on the attic Saturday morning? (The house was still wide open when T swung by on his way home from his shift. At midnight.)

Guess who was not here at 9:00? Or at all?

I have a houseful of company coming next week, so I finally broke down and texted him about it. He said he would be here as soon as he got a hold of the floor guy. I promptly texted him back that I was more concerned with the attic, thankyouverymuch. He said he would come over and do it himself in the morning. Just call him when we were ready.

Are we taking bets on whether he shows up?

Summer? What Summer?

2010-08-18T23:43:00.000-05:00

Where has the summer gone? It seems like I blinked and it was time to get Z registered for kindergarten. She is SO excited about starting 'real' school. After all the angst-ing I did about where she was going to go to school, I kind of dropped the ball on relating our good news. She got into the Talented and Gifted Magnet. Yay! Of course, I knew she was bright, but don't all parents think that? Nice to have a little validation and to know that she will be getting the best possible start our school district has to offer.

Our summer was consumed with construction, unplanned dental-related-travel, parental health concerns, play group and our extended family vacation to Colorado. The growing season is over and I never even managed to get hanging baskets for the front porch purchased/hung up. At least the majority of the construction debris has been removed from the porch. We no longer look quite so Sanford & Son!

I got some amazing moose pictures while we were on vacay. I'll bore you with them as soon as I get a little more time and/or energy. So, say the fourth of never? Yeah. That sounds about right!

And Now I Feel Like a Jerk

2010-07-21T14:32:00.001-05:00

Frustrated with the utter lack of progress on the last few piddly items of the remodel, I sent the contractor a tacky text: Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

He texted back that he was at the hospital with his uncle, but would be by in the afternoon.

Around three o'clock, I lost patience and texted him again: Please come finish my house.

He texted back almost immediately: My uncle died. We were very close.

I? Am such a jerk.

A Long Time Coming

2010-07-20T22:53:00.001-05:00

Twenty-two years ago, a man broke into an apartment near Houston and brutally murdered two men. One of the victims he didn't even know, he just had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That victim was T's cousin.

This evening at 6:00, the killer was executed by lethal injection. T and his uncle were in attendance.

People feel a lot of things about capital punishment: from 'an eye for an eye' to 'execution is just another form of murder.' I know how I feel about it, but I wouldn't try to change someone's mind if they disagreed with me.

Here's what I do know: aftershocks of the murder are still rippling through this family's lives. That one act of unspeakable violence sucked the spirit out of a family. They will never recover.

I hope they have some peace now.

A Life of Moderation

2010-07-15T23:37:00.001-05:00

I recently changed doctors. My previous doc had to be chased down and hog-tied to get my lab results. It was just too much work. So I switched to my neighbor. He's a good ol' boy and full of down home bonhomie that makes getting poked and prodded just a little less unpleasant. Mostly I was there to make sure the prescriptions for my crazy pills didn't run out, but I also needed to get my thyroid levels checked.

We started out on the scale. OMG. It seems that my self delusions know no bounds. I was shocked - SHOCKED! - to see the number on the scale. The highest ever except for when I was growing a whole other person inside me. Then my blood pressure was high. Well, high for me. I think it still qualified as right in the normal range, but I am usually around 115/70 and on that day I was 130/80. Maybe it was the shock of the GIGANTIC numbers on the scale. More likely, it was that my children had chosen that morning to test the boundaries of how badly they could behave without me beating them in public*.

The nurse called me with the results earlier this week. Ironically, my thyroid levels were stable. It was just everything else that was screwed up. Cholesterol? Yikes! Triglycerides? Eek! Blood sugar? Not terrible, but not good either. With all of my dad's health issues lately, the blood sugar thing is FREAKING ME OUT.

Sigh.

I have known for years that I needed to make some, ahem, lifestyle changes. In fact, it was the driving factor for starting this blog. I had all these flowery notions of getting healthy to set a good example for Z and not pass on my weirdness about food. A good thought, but ultimately the effort fizzled. Now? My weight is going to seriously threaten my life if I don't do something about it. Maybe the good news is that the bad news will get my a$$ in gear?

So. What to eat? Well, I have decided that I need to feed myself like I feed my children: balanced meals with limited snacking in between. I am the queen of late night snacking. I prefer to do my snacking alone, which is a great big flashing neon sign o' dysfunction. Solution: No more secret snacking.

I already eat a pretty good diet, I mostly need to eat way less of it. Portion control has been my nemesis for as long as I can remember. I am a woman of many enthusiasms. Food is one of them! I have a hard time stopping when the food still tastes good. Solution: The rule of 80%. I will try to stop eating when I am 80% full. No second helpings just because it is there. A little bit of everything - even ice cream! - but nothing to excess.

More fresh fruits and veggies. Less processed food. More whole grain. Fewer simple carbs. It is so easy to get sucked into serving prepared food because it requires no thought at the end of a marathon day. The kids like it. My husband likes it! Hell, I like it. Solution: Home made versions of stuff we love. For instance, I have an easy and awesome recipe for whole wheat pizza dough. The kids love to make their own pizzas and they taste great. It's win win!

Oh, yeah. And exercise. Lordy, how I hate to sweat! But we have been riding our bikes all around the neighborhood. It is amazing how much more work it is when all the tires are low! Whew, my tush is sore! I plan to take Q to school on my bike in the fall. That will be a sight! I also have a date with the elliptical trainer upstairs. We finally got it moved out of the garage/back porch and into the air conditioned weight room. Now I just need to get on the darn thing.

It is funny how a few little numbers can do what vanity alone could not. Wish me luck!

*I don' beat my children in public. Or ever. It's a joke! Chill!

All the TV Finally Pays Off

2010-07-08T23:37:00.001-05:00

In the not too distant past, I finally got around to filling up the kids' sandbox. I purchased the sand from Lowe's. It was labeled 'play sand' but a more accurate name would be '50-50-mix-of-sand-and-gravel-that-is-impossible-to-build-with.' That rolls trippingly off the tongue, yes? Suffice it to say that Q often come inside with pockets filled with pebbles.

He was particularly proud of one 'shiny' pebble (translation: smooth) and presented it to me as a gift. It was promptly knocked off the table and lost forever on the remarkably pebble-colored carpet. Except that it wasn't. I located his perfect pebble and put it back on the side table for him to find.

Fast forward to dinner prep this evening. T and I were discussing his whirlwind trip to the ranch when Q came into the kitchen. I honestly can't remember what he was saying - a lot of his narrative is difficult to follow - when the words "rock in my nose" jumped out and set off maternal alarm bells.

Sure enough, upon further inspection, his shiny rock was shoved impressively far up his right nostril. I had a moment of blind panic when I contemplated swooping him up and rushing him to the ER for immediate removal of the offending nostril nugget. Then I remembered a similar situation on a Royal Pains. The PA dislodged a nose noodle by covering up the other nostril and blowing into the boy's mouth. She was immediately successful and not the least bit covered in snot.

It didn't go nearly that smoothly on my end. The blowing into Q's mouth, made him laugh like crazy, but didn't move the pebble. I finally just covered up the other nostril and told him to blow his nose. He moved it down a little and I squeezed it out like a zit. It was like his nose was giving birth. Shudder. Man, skin is stretchy!

So I guess that was a milestone. I was going to throw the nasty thing away, but T made me save it. Well, wash it off and save it. He wants to keep it for Q's baby book. Can you imagine that scrapbook page? Boys are so weird.

Spitting Mad

2010-07-07T22:20:00.000-05:00

Neighbor Kid is at it again! Today when he came to play in our back yard - because we have cool stuff to play on - he got Holly all wound up. Again. And went crying home when she got all jumpy. Again. This time, instead of threatening to sue us, he told Z that if Holly 'attacked' him again, she would be taken away from us.

I want to throttle this kid! So now, not only is he bossing my kids around in their own yard, he is threatening to have their dog taken away. Grrr!

I understand that there aren't a lot of kids out here in the sticks and my kids are the only game in town as far as playmates go, but if he is such a sissified scaredy-cat, he needs to quit coming over to the no-weenie-zone that is our back yard. Big dogs live here. Over-zealous dog-affection is the price of admission to the fun toys.

Neighbor Kid has now announced that his 'family rule' is that he is only allowed to play with Z and Q in the front yard. Z and Q are only allowed out front if T and/or I are out front, too. Maybe that will squelch Z's fascination with all things NK.

Because the other day at McDonald's? She asked me when she would be old enough to go out on a date with him. I told her that since he will always be three years older than she is, she will never be old enough to date him. Z totally didn't buy it. She said she would just wait until she was a grown-up and go on a date with him then. Just! Kill! Me!

Happy (Belated) Fourth!

2010-07-05T23:05:00.000-05:00

Things are funny here in Wester. Instead of celebrating July 4th on, say, the fourth, the powers that be declared that the big fireworks fun should be held on the more convenient third of July. To maximize the opportunity for folks to get wasted and drive around after the fireworks, you couldn't possibly set them off on a Sunday! Humph.

Anyway, we planned accordingly. The in-laws planned their swing through Wester on the way to Colorado to coincide with the fireworks display and T invited the night unit to come have steaks with us.

Enter the rain. My fam has long compared me to Rob McKenna from Douglas Adam's So Long and Thanks for All the Fish: a "Quasi Supernormal Incremental Precipitation Inducer," aka: a rain god(dess). Having recently been to east Texas, I apparently soaked up moisture like a sponge and brought it home with me. Wester is now the wettest desert known to man.

The fireworks were canceled because the (beer) vendors couldn't set up shop safely in the standing water at the fair grounds. Awesome.

Our dinner was great, but somewhat anticlimactic. It certainly didn't end with a bang! (Ha! Fireworks humor!) After the required patriotic flag cake, everyone went home.

The actual fourth was such a non-event that I forgot to put the kids in their cute July 4th outfits! It was only after I started hearing the neighbors blowing up the horse pastures that we ventured outside. The great thing about living outside the city limits is that fireworks are legal here. I am personally too cheap/chicken to purchase incendiaries. Lucky for my poor deprived (all-their-digits-having) children, my affluent neighbors have no such problems.

The local display started around 9:00 and continued until past midnight. And not the cheap fire crackers, either. Big, gorgeous, bursts lit up the sky for 360 degrees . It was like theater in the round, but more explode-y.

The kids were entranced. For about ten minutes. Then they were entertained with the novelty of being allowed to run around outside in the dark. Once they got whiny, we went back inside. Unfortunately, the big free display going on around us did not take bed times into consideration. I think we made it into bed sometime after midnight.

Happy birthday, America! Thanks for letting me sleep in today!