Bad Mama! No eating the children!

Sometimes I am amazed at our species' continued existence. I am the mother of a brilliant, funny, exasperating daughter, but there are days when I understand why some animals eat their young. Lately, it feels like I am feeling that way a lot.

I am the youngest of three girls. We are wildly different in many ways, but there is one way in which we are identical: we are pleasers. If our parents told us to jump, not only did we do it, but we asked if they would like us to jump on one foot? in a circle? while barking like a dog? The idea of defying our parents' wishes just didn't occur to us. Even as adults, we can't wrap our brains about what would have happened if we had. We would tell them how lucky they were that we were so easy and they would respond, in all seriousness, "It's not luck. It's skill." I took this as gospel.

Imagine my surprise when I was blessed with a child who had no desire to please me from a really early age? Like at 10 months. She knew what she wanted and that was that. This is a great thing in an adult and I am sure it will serve her well in her future. But for now? It. is. killing. me. The twos were hard enough, but the threes have been even harder. Even my father has acknowledged that maybe luck did have something to do with temperament. For someone who isn't trying to push my buttons, she is remarkably proficient at it. And it leaves me angry. I find by the end of the day I have a harder and harder time letting go of the day's transgressions. I hate that I am so relieved when she and her brother are in bed. Sigh.

Update: No frogs in the pool today. Whee! Unfortunately, that may be because my vicious (ha!) Pomeranian ate half of the star crossed couple. Ick. No kisses for him.

Another Update: Weigh in day: success! I lost another 2 pounds this week. Just 53 more to go! I anticipate that I may have an increase in weight loss after next weekend. Q is scheduled to be weaned that weekend and when I stop nursing my points allotment goes way down. Yay losing weight! Boo losing points!

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