Feeling Forty

Boy, once you hit 40 things go downhill fast!  I threw my back out this morning.  While I was sleeping.  Seriously, I was fine when I went to bed and crippled when I woke up.  Awesome.

Apart from random sleep injuries, the first weeks of being 40 has been good.  My birthday was big fun (yay!) even if I didn't get to make the annual pilgrimage to San Diego to visit Sister K (boo!).  It started out like any other Wednesday.  Q and I headed out to story time at the college.  Education students practice their read-aloud skills.  The day's story was If You Give a Pig a Party.  The students had us all wear party hats.  Very festive!   They read several pig books and we sang and did pig activities.  We both had a great time.

Mid-day, I had a mini 'significant birthday' morbid melt-down.  I made the mistake of doing the dismal Alzheimer's math:  if I follow in my mom's foot steps, I only have 20 years left before I start losing my marbles.  Z would only be 25.  Gah.  Luckily, Chica talked me down from the ledge.  Whew!

Bun took the afternoon off from work and once I had picked Z up from school we went to get pedicures.  She presented me with a sparkly tiara and a button that says 'It's all about me!'  Love!  On the way we stopped for bubble teas.  I haven't had one of those since I lived in Ginormousville!  We had spa pedicures with the works.  I even got an extra 30 minutes of foot rubbing.  Aaaaah!  Bliss.  I just wish I had gotten the guy pedicurist.  The teeny tiny gal that did mine couldn't work up much pressure with her teeny tiny fingers.  But still!  A foot rub!  Awesome!

Once our toes were gorgeous, we headed out for dinner.  T had made a reservation at Genghis Grill.  he picked it out without any input from me - and it was exactly what I would have chosen on my own.  Good husband!  The gals and their husbands met us there.  Unfortunately, one of the girls had a stomach bug so they couldn't make it, but the rest of us had a great time.  An evening without kids?  What's not to like?  All through dinner we kept saying, 'This is so fun!  Why don't we do this more often?'

We ended the evening with a fabulous Italian cream cake courtesy of Chica.  It had swirls and polka dots!  Does my girl know me or what?  So. Much. Fun.

I found out after the fact that Chica was the puppeteer orchestrating my birthday from all the way across the state.  She was burning up the phone lines the whole week leading up to my birthday.  When Bun was telling me about Chica's machinations she turned to me and said, "Chica really LOVES you.  She was determined that you would have a great birthday!"

With friends like these how could I help it?

How to Hug a Baby*

Instructions for properly hugging a baby:

1. First, spy a baby.

2. Second, be sure that the object you spied was indeed a baby
by employing classic sniffing techniques --
if you smell baby powder and the wonderful aroma of wet nappies this is, indeed, a baby.

3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.

**Note: The added slobber should help in future steps by making the 'paw slide' easier.**

4. The 'Paw Slide': Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.

5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented
'Hug, Smile, and Lean' so as to achieve the best photo opportunity.

PERFECT!

*Thanks to Chica for sending this to me.
This is not my baby, but I am confident no babies were injured in the production of the above cuteness.

Still Not Dead

Got the dreaded voice mail from Chica today:

"Hey, Rae Ann! You haven't blogged since November 12, so I'm just calling to make sure everything is okay. Everything is okay, right?"

Everything is okay. I am just swamped. Observe:

• T is in Austin at (yet another) training.
  
• Z and I got food poisoning/stomach flu (who can tell the diff?).
  
• I am making a Herculean effort to get the main living areas all gorgeous (or as gorgeous as they can be with a serious layer of dog fur on them) before T gets back from the aforementioned training. This involves sewing curtains and hanging (A LOT) of pictures, as well as the expected box hauling and trash collecting.
• I have caught up on the appalling backlog of design work from when my computer died. (Sincerest apologies to Laura and Katie! Again!)
  
• I MADE A FRIEND TODAY!!! Which is to say that the MeetUp group that I started finally had someone besides me in attendance. And she brought a friend! Maybe I can stop wearing my 'Will You Be My Friend?' t-shirt. It is getting tattered.

Actually, I have tons to blog about - I still need to recap my fab trip to San Diego! - I just am not managing my time well enough to do it! Soon, Chica. Soon.

Now with More Bullets!

• We went to the splash park with Cousin N and her 4 children on Thursday. We had such a great time! Her youngest is eight(ish) months old and just sat in the shallows and splashed. He is such a happy little guy! Both of my chillies are SO in love with him! Her oldest son is a natural babysitter and played very sweetly with his younger sister and Z (who are about the same age). Cousin N left first - something about feeding her kids? My kids would rather swim than eat ANY day! Which is saying something because both of my kids are total chow hounds. We stayed until Q's lips turned an alarming shade of blue. I am super mom.

• On Friday, I pulled a total Rae Ann stunt and thought the Chez Ami party I had been invited to started at the time that it ended. Luckily, I thought to check the time before the party was completely over. Turns out it was kind of a come-and-go party, so I didn't commit any terrible faux pas! I did buy Z some adorable way too spendy adorable outfits: The red one is kind of Christmas-y. I love the lime green with the red! The purple one will have the purses embroidered on it, so she can wear it with the green leggings, too. I got everything a little roomy so we can get several seasons out of them like those Hannah Anderson enthusiasts do. I hope they hold up!
• Friday night I got a call from a friend I hadn't talked to in five years. When I saw her name on the caller ID, I thought that it must be some other person with her name, but it really was my friend from my teaching days! She and a couple of other pals were (finally) planning a road trip to Small Town to visit me. Imagine her surprise to find that I was all the way out in Wester! Even so, it was a lot of fun to talk to her. Hopefully, the next time I am in Ginormousville I can manage to get together with all of my teaching buds.
  
• Today I planted 100+ variegated liriope plants. I bought them from Classy Groundcovers. I was SO impressed with everything about them. I ordered bare roots plants, so I expected the plants to be a little sad looking. They were gorgeous! I got many more than the 100 I paid for! They even sent me a gift of a ball cap and a bulb-planting-trowel. Love! I had forgotten how much I like to dig in the dirt! The last time I really enjoyed gardening was before I had children. Now, they are old enough to play near-me-but-not-with-me or even (gasp!) help out. Even though it was hot out, it was very pleasant under our shade trees. Z helped me dig the holes with a dandelion fork until the siren call of the neighbor's son pulled her away.
• It was so nice out today that even after I finished planting I hung out on the front porch swing and read a book while the children played. I am really enjoying Wester! In Small Town, we would have been swimming in our own sweat while trying to beat off the giant mosquitoes, but Wester is so dry and breezy that as long as you are shaded you can be comfortable. Yay! Outdoor time that doesn't feel like punishment!
• Chica stopped by on her way through town this evening. It was awesome to see her and get her take on my home improvement plans. You know someone is truly your friend if you can have them over without any straightening up at all. The house was a wreck (and I was, too), but all Chica noticed was the clean slate and the non-hideousness of the former owner's wallpaper selections. Love that! As always, she was an excellent sounding board and full of good ideas and laughter. I am so glad she has family in Wester so that maybe I can see her here from time to time.
  

Happy Adoption Day!

What an exciting day! Two of my friends are making a difference in the lives of adopted daughters. How awesome is that?

This morning, the kids and I traveled to the birth town of Tall and Chica's baby, Chicklette, to witness the finalization of her adoption process. (Did you know you have to wait six months before adoptions are all official? Gah!) Unfortunately, I underestimated the time it would take to get there from Wester, so we ran in at the last minute. They had kind of held up the proceedings for us. Sorry Chica and Tall!

The ceremony at the agency was very sweet. There was a scripture reading about how we were all made to be parents, which was lovely. Then the case worker presented them with a Little Golden Book about a kangaroo that had an empty pouch that was filled when a baby bluebird fell out of its nest. There may or may not have been tears involved for Chica and me as she read it. Everyone involved with the adoption signed it. Sob! (But with happy tears!) Then the grandparents shared some stories about Chicklette and how she has changed her parent's lives. I was especially touched by the stories from Tall's parents. Tall and his sister were adopted, too, so it was just that much more poignant. The ceremony was closed with a beautiful prayer for Tall, Chica and Chicklette as well as the birth mother.

My, ahem, superwellbehaved children saved it all from being too very serious. We were sitting in a circle with Chicklette in the middle. Z made a mad dash for her as soon as we got into the room. Q hung back a little, hoping for cookies from Chicklette's Grammy. Once that mission was accomplished, he made a beeline for Chicklette and practically mauled her with love. She is barely crawling and still a little wobbly at the whole sitting thing. When Q gave her a giant two-year-old bear hug, she kind of dissolved onto the floor and Q went with her. They rolled around on the floor together until I declared them to be engaged. Oh, did I mention that all of this was during the closing prayer? Yeah.

Then he decided that he and his new fiance should go for a walk and proceeded to try to pick her up and set her on her feet. Yikes! So I was all trying to make him stop without destroying the prayer experience for everyone else. I ended up on the floor with all three kids, trying to look pious while delivering a silent cut-it-out hairy eyeball at the same time. Luckily, everyone had a sense of humor about the whole thing. The only disappointment was that we didn't get any pictures. We couldn't figure out how to take pictures during a prayer without being disrespectful. Rats!

Afterward, we all went to lunch. I was able to visit with Chica as well as Tall's sister and niece who are from Wester. I got the skinny on schools, dance lessons, dog grooming and a whole bunch of other local stuff. The whole event was filled with love and I was so honored to be included.

Today is also adoption day for the Lovely S. She and her husband are traveling as I write to Ethiopia to pick up their brand new daughter. They are so excited and I am excited for them. I can't wait to head back to Small Town to meet her!

What a great day!

Coupon Crazy!

After dinner with some friends the other night we were complimenting the hostess on her superior brownies. She said, "Thankyouverymuch. They're from a box."

Turns out she has lately started coupon-ing and one of her big scores was 20 boxes of brownie mix for free. Free brownies? She had T's total attention. Her hubs and sons bragged on her total coupon-clipping/money-saving mastery and the system she had developed to stay on top of everything. She has a whole notebook with dividers and pockets and baseball card pages and has the whole thing down to a science. Impressive!

Since we are currently supporting two households, it seems like a good idea for me to follow in the steps of my newly anointed coupon guru. We made a date for my indoctrination introduction tomorrow afternoon.

In anticipation of the big event, I wasted killed spent a productive afternoon finding every printable coupon the internet had to offer. Huh. Who knew there were so many coupons for stuff I actually use? Erm, I guess my friend did. And all those blogs I read where they talk about feats of coupon-ing glory that I can only dream about. Yeah, those. I am not too swift on the uptake.

The funny thing is, Chica and I were talking about this just the other day. We both know that there are coupons to be had, and that if we were religious about the sales fliers that we could potentially save a lot of money. We are both smart women. If all those other gals are successful at it, surely we would be, too. If we wanted to... But somehow we couldn't be bothered. Looking back on that conversation, I think an alien must have taken temporary control of my brain. Couldn't be bothered to save a big ol' chunk of money? That's crazy talk.

Wow. Nothing like the zeal of a convert, huh? To tell the truth, I am totally in it for the pretty notebook. I love me some office supplies. Especially if I have a coupon!

Lifesavers

Here is a little funny courtesy of Chica:

A teacher was doing a study testing the sense of taste.  The children began to identify the flavors by their color: 

Red.....................Cherry 
Yellow................Lemon 
Green..................Lime 
Orange...............Orange 
 
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None Of the children could identify the taste. 
 
The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your Mother may sometimes call your father.' 
 
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and Yelled, 'Oh my God! They're butt-holes! 

The teacher had to leave the room!

Scraps

I don't have any long involved stories to tell, but there are a few minor incidents/aha! moments to share:

• I have discovered why my house is always such a wreck. It's my husband's fault! I got the house clean for listing/showing and kept it pristine for over a week. Within 30 minutes of his arrival this weekend, the whole house was junked up! The kitchen counters were covered in papers, the bedroom floor was hidden under his clothes and the bathroom smelled like a urinal. See? I'm not a bad housekeeper! It's all his fault!*
• We went to dinner with T's BFF and his very pregnant wife yesterday evening. She is an adorable pregnant woman and I told her how great she looked. She thanked me, but said that she didn't feel beautiful. She felt too bad about the big baby belly. Later, I was relating this story to T and told him that when I was pregnant was the only time I ever felt good about my body. His response? "Why? You are so pretty!" Best! response! ever! (It doesn't hurt that the hubs is a boob man and when I gain weight, I gain it everywhere, if you know what I mean!)
• I hate stall showers. This morning, at my in-laws' house, I was showering in a smallish stall shower and thinking to myself how much I hate that particular shower. Apparently, the shower took it personally. When I propped my foot up on the wall to wash my toes, the other foot slipped out from under me. I landed with a colossal thud that had my hubs pounding up the stairs in a flash. Luckily, my head broke my fall. He found me sprawled on the bottom of the shower: door open, water spraying everywhere, clutching my head. My hair saved the day. If not for my doubled-up pony tail, I might have done myself some real damage. Now there is a reason to be thankful for thick hair!
• I got to hang out with Chica and Chicklette this afternoon. I cannot say often enough how CUTE Chicklette is! Those fat little thighs! Nom! I could eat her up. But I digress... so Chica and I decided to go for a walk. For the first time, I could really tell that I had put on some poundage. Within two blocks of her house, my shins were all like, "WTF? You can't be serious!" It didn't help that she has legs up to her armpits and I have to take like five steps to her every one. It was like she was walking a (verrrry round) chihuahua. I was totally sucking wind and I don't think Chica broke a sweat. Seriously. It is time to make some changes. Yep, fat thighs on a baby? Adorable. Fat thighs on me? Not so much.
• For the last several days, Q has been having major blow-outs of the runs-down-his-leg-into-his-boot variety. He had one this morning, so I thought we were done for the day. We arrive at McD's for dinner on the way back to Small Town and hit the bathroom. When we were done, Q said, "Poopie." I asked him if it really was poop or if it was only tinkle. He said it was tinkle, so I told him I would change it when we got back to the car. We get our food and hit the play area. Again he said, "Poopie!" so we repeated the above conversation and I sent him on his way. At last, when it was about time to leave, he came up to me and said, "Poopie! Peese! (Q-speak for 'please')" With a sinking heart, I finally actually checked his diaper. Blow-out city. I am the worst mom ever. I am just grateful that a.) it didn't bleed through his clothes and get smeared all over the play area; and b.) that his little hiney didn't get all chapped from my unintentional neglect.

*Sigh. If only it was all his fault. Usually I share in the blame. It was just his fault this time.

Ode to Chica

How awesome is this? My BFF, Chica, drove to Small Town all the way from Ginormousville - with a baby! - to help me clean my filthy house. She even brought mojitos!

She is so amazing. She thought of stuff to clean that never would have crossed my mind. Care to peek inside the built-ins, anyone? Wow! She stayed motivated long after I would have retired to the couch for visiting and adult beverages. Instead, it was visiting, adult beverages, and baseboard scrubbing!

Then, despite the fact that Chicklette kept her up all night, the next day she donned a bikini (!) and - wait for it - CLEANED MY POOL! What kind of true devotion is that? Love! I won't even hold it against her that she looks like a freaking super model (literally!) in her red string bikini. She talked me into putting on my bikini top, but I just couldn't bring myself to expose my jiggly fish-belly-white stomach to the unforgiving sunshine, so I wore my shorty overalls over it. I've got a pretty healthy self-esteem, but come on!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Chica. Deciding to be your friend was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Chicklette Pix

Could you not just EAT those cheeks? Nom, nom! Chica is settling into a nice routine. Chicklette is only waking up twice per night. Mr. Chica is a totally hands-on daddy, so they are splitting the feedings. Lucky Chica! LOVE!

Chicklette is Here!

After seven long years, Chica has a baby. Chicklette* made for the very most thankful of Thanksgivings. She arrived on Thanksgiving night weighing in at six pounds, eleven ounces and measuring 20 inches. (Coincidentally, exactly the same size as Z! Or, as T would say, a fine trout.) They brought her home on Sunday and have settled seamlessly into parenthood.

In the lament of type A mothers everywhere, Chica said, "But I wasn't ready! This wasn't how I planned it." Welcome to the club, my friend. Welcome to the club.

*If Chica says it is okay, I will post a picture of Chicklette tomorrow!

Hangin' with Chica

We are bound for the ranch again this weekend, and because of a series of doctor’s appointments I had to bring a separate car to Ginormousville. I decided to head out a day early so I could hang out with Chica.

She is taking most of this ‘I am getting a brand new baby in six weeks’ stuff in stride, but for whatever reason, baby bedding is the hill she has chosen to die on. Chica has a very specific (fabulous!) design aesthetic and is finding it difficult to find bedding that doesn’t make her gag. She is not a fan of pink and the word “cutesy” is not in her vocabulary. She wants primary colored (red, specifically) girl bedding – which may as well be the Rings of the Nibelungen (hey! A non-pop-culture cultural reference!).

She found a boldly colored country-French floral, but everyone keeps telling her that it is too grown up and to just buy the pink already! This, understandably, frustrates her. She found several other fabrics that she likes, but couldn’t visualize how they would look as a finished product.

Rae Ann to the rescue! She sent me links to all of the swatches she was considering and I made her what amounts to paper dolls for home décor. I created a template of the nursery that included curtains, crib bumper, bumper ties and the bed skirt. I filled each template with one of the swatches Chica had sent me. Then I created a nursery to put them in with paint in colors that coordinated with the floral. Finally, I cut out all of the little pieces and you could dress the nursery and see how all of the parts looked together. Pretty slick, if I do say so myself.

I took the whole kit and caboodle over to her house and we got the whole thing sorted out over some lovely Scottish tea that tasted of apricots.

Coincidentally, her birth mother lives near our ranch in the middle of Nowhere. I am currently planning to camp out there around the due date so I can see the new baby right away (that’s not stalker-like at all, huh?). Chica is so cute! When she found out that I wanted to come out for the birth, she offered to buy me a pair of the matching PJ’s that she is getting for her mother and herself (a men’s style pajama in a fun leopard print. Whee! I love me some leopard print.)

She asked for some input on what would have made my birth experience more pleasant so she could provide that for the birth mother. I completely drew a blank. All I could come up with was some music to labor by. I had music with me for Z’s birth, but in all the excitement forgot about it. Q came earlier than expected, so I hadn’t even downloaded his music yet – and there wouldn’t have been time for it anyway. He was born literally one minute after we dashed into the hospital, but that’s a story for another day. What would you have liked to have at your birth to make the whole experience better/easier?

What kind of gift could you give to the birth mother to say thank you? What gift shows a birth mother how much you appreciate her sacrifice without becoming something that reminds her of a difficult time in her life every time she looks at it? Somehow, a thank-you-for-giving-us-this-baby-you-grew-inside-of-you-for-nine-months-cupcake doesn’t seem quite right, but the agency says that many of the birth mothers like to have some sort of memento. Any ideas?

I am just so excited for Chica I can hardly stand it. I can’t wait to hold that sweet Chicklette!

Oodles of Love

Today is the big day: after seven years, I finally get to through Chica a baby shower! How cute is that invitation? (None of this is Chica's info, of course. I copied the picture from the My Expression website.) I woke early and hit the ground running. First I made the sangria. Nothing like liquor first thin in the morning! I had to sample a little. Tasty!

Next, I started on the diaper cake. Chica had made one for me when she threw the shower for Z's arrival. It was the kind that wraps the diapers up into one giant jelly-roll of diapers (as opposed to the kind where you bundle up multiple bundles into layers). Chica held mine together with a zillion stick pins. All the directions I read recommended rubber bands. So of course, rubber bands were the one thing I forgot to get. Luckily, mom-in-law is prepared for anything. She had rubber bands of all sizes - even the super huge one I needed for the largest layer (50+ diapers!). It took a while to get the hang of it, but it turned out so CUTE! Unfortunately, my camera is still being held hostage by the nice people at Precision Camera, repairing the flash I suspect was traumatized by Z. I used one of the other hostesses cameras and took about a million pictures of both the diaper cake and the rest of the shower. I was like baby shower paparazzi! I will post a picture as soon as she sends me one.

I hosted the shower with Chica's two sisters-in-law at her mom's house. I was a bit of a shower nazi, but they were a joy to work with. They let me do all the fun stuff like the invitations and the diaper cake. I guess that was practical, as transporting food over 100 miles would not make for good eats. We did mini quiches, scones with all the trimmings, a gorgeous fruit plate, chilie cheese polenta (okay, corn casserole squares, but polenta sounds so much fancier!) and adorable cupcakes with frosting booties on them.

Chica's mom was initially scandalized at the menu, but I think she came around. She was so impressed with how pretty everything looked. It should have; we used all of her stuff. It was like entertaining in a four-star catering facility. Gorgeous silver and crystal serving pieces. Heirloom silver baby cups and rattles. Beee-yew-tee-ful!

Baby showers are always so much fun. All the tiny little clothes! One of the other hostesses and I got Chica a purple Britax infant car seat (squee!). Purple is Chica's fave color. Mine too. Even though we got her the big gift, I couldn't resist buying Oodle (what the birth mother started calling the unborn baby) a tiny pale purple dress with brown polka dots. Adorable! I also tracked down the book Little Miss Spider by David A. Kirk. It is a lovely story that ends with this verse:

When finding a mother
There is one certain test
You must look for the creature
Who loves you the best.

Oodle is one lucky baby.

Headless Chicken, Anyone?

So tomorrow is the big Baby Shower day. I had done all I could do remotely, so today I loaded up the offspring and drove to Ginormousville to gather up the rest. Thank god for my mom-in-law. She corralled the kids and shooed me off on the hunt. I left the house around 3:00 and thought I would be back in time for dinner. I walked in at - wait for it... 11:30.

My list of errands were pretty standard: paper plates, cups, napkins and plastic cutlery; booze for the sangria*; fruit for the sangria and iced tea; and the stuff to make the diaper cake centerpiece. I figured I would hit the craft store, liquor store, baby store and grocery store and be done. Silly me! You see, my problem is that I have these very specific ideas of how I want thing to turn out, so if the stores don't have exactly what I want, I have to add another store to my list to check for it there.

The craft store was disappointing. They had literally no party plates and depressingly few baby accessories that weren't either overly pink or downright tacky. They redeemed themselves slightly by having cute ribbon for the diaper cake, but I still had to add another craft store to my list.

Next I had to drive all the way to the outer suburbs to pick up a hard to find book, then back into town to the baby store. They had diapers and goodies for the diaper cake, but no party supplies. From there, I headed over to the mother ship: Target.

Target has historically had really cute paper goods, but apparently I was at the crappiest Target ever. They had only a few baby shower designs and only one that didn't make me gag outright. The rub here is that Chica loves a pretty cocktail napkin and all of these were ho-hum at best. Finally, I took the best of what they had to offer and headed on to the next destination.

The liquor store was the only stop of the day that was straight forward. Other than the clerk that laughed at me for mispronouncing Cointreau, that part was painless. Then off to another craft store and then another in pursuit of the perfect paper plate. Finally, I crossed town (again) to go to a party store and was able to find cutlery and napkins in an appropriate color.

By now it was 7:30. I called the awesome mom-in-law and she had to kids fed and on the way to the tub. I considered running back to the house to help, but they would have already been in bed by the time I could get there. So I grabbed some dinner (oh, Chipotle, how I adore thee! Diet fail.) and was able to meet up with a friend for coffee. We chatted until Starbuck's kicked us out, only to realize that I still needed fruit and tea from the grocery store.

When I got to the store, citrus was strangely scarce. They had lemons, but no oranges or peaches. I finally found some pitiful pre-bagged Texas oranges and compromised with frozen peaches. The tea, instant I'll admit, was similarly hard to find. Usually, I make the tea with two parts peach ice tea and one part lemon ice tea. No lemon tea. Sigh. Finally I dragged myself home. Whew!

So all I have left to do is to make the sangria and the tea and create an entire diaper cake. Piece of cake!

*Totally Awesome White Zin Sangria

1 750 ml bottle White Zin
1/2 cup peach schnappes
2 tablespoons tripplesec
1 lemon - thinly sliced
1 orange - thinly sliced
1 peach - sliced
10 oz. Club Soda

Mix alcohol and fruit in a large container. Chill for at least half an hour. Add soda just before serving. Serve over frozen peaches instead of ice so that the sangria wouldn't get watered down.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Several of the blogs I follow have Wordless Wednesdays. I think they are fun, so when I have a funny visual to share, I will slap it up for your enjoyment on humpday.
Check out the couch camo! Does this feel like your husband on housework day? This comes to me via Chica. She suggested that T should get some purple camo so he can blend in with our couches. Yeah, like he needs an excuse to wear camo!

Mom Roulette

My BFF, Chica, is adopting a baby girl. I am SO FREAKING HAPPY for her that I can hardly stand it. I finally get to pay her back for all the cool parties she has thrown for me (wedding, bachelorette party, baby #1, baby #2 - you get the picture!). So I found the cutest non-cutesy baby shower invites available on the web and called her up to get the particulars, only to find that she hadn't registered yet.

Now when it was time for me to register for my first baby, my other BFF, G, an experienced mom, took me in and showed me the ropes. She told me what was essential and what was a gimmick. I was fairly prepared when, at five months pregnant, I dragged the husband in to register with me. You know, to get him involved in the pregnancy. I had planned to offer this service to Chica, but have been out of pocket so often since returning from Colorado, that I have been unable to make it to Ginormousville to go with her. I suck.

Anyhoo, last night Chica and her husband made the safari into the land of all things baby. Instead of feeling better now that she is registered, she is now even more confused about what is gold and what is dross. She was going to take my advice and register for everything and sort it out after Baby Chica is born, but it seems that Babies R Us has a new (crappy) return policy. They are no longer doing exchanges without receipt unless it is on your registry. So she is wary of registering for a bunch of darling pink girly things just in case Baby Chica turns out to be a Chico. Drag!

She sent me this e-mail upon her return: "OMG HELP ME! Just came back from Babies R Us and feel confident that my child will not survive me." Poor Chica! I couldn't help but laugh, but she has gotten such conflicting advice from all of her different mom friends that she doesn't know what to think. Some say pacifiers! and others say no pacifiers! Some are pro technology and others think the vibrating chairs are the devil.

In the morning after post mortem, we were discussing all of the stuff that I think is essential. But here's the thing: I am a stay at home breast feeding mom. She will be a working bottle feeding mom. There are just some things for which I have no perspective to share. Babywise? Bottles? Huh?

None of us know in advance what kind of mom we will be, what we will use to cope or what pre-baby thing will have to give. I never figured that my kids would be such TV hounds (though given their parentage, I don't really see how it could be avoided! Go PBS!). I certainly never thought that my standards of grooming could limbo under such a low bar (pony tail? Check. Shirt with stainage? Check. Putting deodorant on to cover the funk? Check. Make up? What's that?).

What did remain? I am still connected with my friends back in Ginormousville. I always have some electronic and/or home decorating project going on. Other moms don't have time for phone calls/e-mails/hobbies because they are fans of good hygiene. Or make homemade baby food. Or have to work at that pesky other job so they can have food and shelter. Some can do it all. My friend J just put her baby in the sling and did her thing.

Hang in there, Chica! It doesn't matter what flavor of mom you are. You will be great!