Bad Country Song

My dad-in-law is the angel of death This is to say that he is a worrier of the highest order and gives any situation the worst possible spin. Here is today’s list.

• My mom has been more stooped over than usual and has fallen down a couple of times. Conclusion: Her Alzheimer's is getting worse and the end is near.
• My dad has to have another round of chemo for his chronic lymphocytic leukemia. Conclusion: his CLL is accelerating and the end is near.
• Mom-in-law’s hip hurts. Conclusion: she has something malignant and the end is near.
• Giant golden retriever Scout has an egg-sized mass in his groin. Conclusion: the end is near, so why bother taking him to the vet?
• Gregarious Z was acting strange around another little girl’s grandfather. Conclusion: someone had been inappropriate with her. Gah!
• My sister’s cat, Coco, has been losing weight and having difficulty eating. Conclusion: she’s old and the end is near.

Needless to say this list has me rattled. Seriously, we have all the elements of a bad country song. All we need is for someone to go to prison, and I’m not volunteering.

Update: Mom missed a pill. Her Alzheimer’s is getting worse, but she is nowhere near the end. My dad has a new oncologist, so he might have a new strategy for battling CLL. Mom-in-law has sciatica; literally a pain in the butt, but hardly fatal. Scout’s mass was a harmless lypoma (fatty tumor). Z was mad at the grandfather because he wanted to put her on the baby swing. Coco had a large benign mass removable by surgery. And nobody went to prison! Whew.