Hide and Spank, Anyone?

Jeez Louise! Z is trying to send me to jail. I understand that she is strong willed, but I don't understand how such a smart kid consistently makes choices that make her life so unpleasant.

This morning, for example, she was playing on the floor of my office with her brother. Whenever he would reach for a toy, she would snatch it just before he could get to it, making Q howl in protest. I told her that if she did this again, she would have to leave my office and go to her spot. (I have a laminated circle on the floor at the entrance to the living room that says "Thinking Spot." That is where she goes for time outs.) Not two minutes later, Q is howling again and Z informs me, "I don't want to share." Like that is some sort of excuse for defying my instructions. So she went to her spot.

Now this next part is partially my fault. I'd sent her to her spot, but remained in my office to finish up what I was doing. When I walked into the living room, she was on her spot, but she had gathered up a bunch of contraband to take with her: a doll, the vacuum cord, and a toy suitcase. I told her to put the toys down because we don't have toys when we are on the spot. She looked my right in the eye and said, "No! I won't do it!" I gave her the choice of putting down the toys or going to her room (she hates playing by herself). I believe her response was something along the lines of "No! No! Never ever!"

I am really trying to cut down on the raised voices around here, so I took her hand to lead her to her room. She went limp, so I picked her up. I managed to make it upstairs before she managed to squirm out of my arms. I picked her back up and placed her on her bed. As I was setting her timer, she ran past me into the hall and bolted for my room. The little dickens HID from me. When I found her (she's a good hider), she got three swats on the hiney and I carted her back to her room and increased the time on the timer.

When the timer went off, she came downstairs. I asked her if she had learned anything. No response. Instead she shrilly demanded a treat. Wait, huh? I asked my question again and she said something incomprehensible in whine/wail mode. I told her that if she couldn't talk to me she would need to go back up to her room and think about it some more. At which point she started again with the "No! No! Never ever!" again. So back up to her room she went.

In total, she was up in her room for about an hour for what started out as the tiniest of infractions. Arg! I just don't understand why it has to be so unpleasant.

When I was teaching, I said the secret to classroom management was to maintain the position of head cat. You know, to let them know who was in charge. Hint: it wasn't them. My dad asked me the other day why I wasn't letting Z know who was the head cat. So I said, "Oh, I'm the head cat alright. It just isn't pretty. She is really challenging me." To which he responded, "Yeah, everyone I've talked to about it and I agree that she will be a challenge for her whole life."

Why does that feel like a life sentence?


  1. It hadn't dawned on my that my daughter would have a long lost TWIN! Good luck, you'll need it to keep your sanity intact!

  2. Hang tough Head Cat. That's what she needs.
    I'm definitely not one to give parenting advice or offer any "try this" type stuff. I fly by the seat of my pants most the time.
    Just don't label her. You don't want her to live up to the label.
    Pray alot!


  3. Oh....my middle son and your daughter must be soul mates. I spent all afternoon fighting with him to show him I am "boss". Everything that works for my other two has no effect on him. Somedays (today included), I am at a loss. Ugh.

    On another note....I would love to have a button for my blog but I dont have a clue how or anything....Let me know if you would want to help me out. Thanks!!!

  4. I agree with Joy...don't put a label on her. I don't have any good advice either as I also fly by the seat of my pants...but just know, you aren't alone!

    Thanks for stopping by Blog Around the World. I need to apologize to you for taking so long to get you set up. I am so behind in linking bloggers as a result of the holidays...but I wanted to let you know that I got your email and I saw the comment you left letting me know where to link you. As of now, you are all hooked up! Thanks for your patience.

  5. "...she will be a challenge for her whole life"

    Nooooooooo! Covering ears!

    As you might have guessed, I can relate :)


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