Hide and Spank, Anyone?

Jeez Louise! Z is trying to send me to jail. I understand that she is strong willed, but I don't understand how such a smart kid consistently makes choices that make her life so unpleasant.

This morning, for example, she was playing on the floor of my office with her brother. Whenever he would reach for a toy, she would snatch it just before he could get to it, making Q howl in protest. I told her that if she did this again, she would have to leave my office and go to her spot. (I have a laminated circle on the floor at the entrance to the living room that says "Thinking Spot." That is where she goes for time outs.) Not two minutes later, Q is howling again and Z informs me, "I don't want to share." Like that is some sort of excuse for defying my instructions. So she went to her spot.

Now this next part is partially my fault. I'd sent her to her spot, but remained in my office to finish up what I was doing. When I walked into the living room, she was on her spot, but she had gathered up a bunch of contraband to take with her: a doll, the vacuum cord, and a toy suitcase. I told her to put the toys down because we don't have toys when we are on the spot. She looked my right in the eye and said, "No! I won't do it!" I gave her the choice of putting down the toys or going to her room (she hates playing by herself). I believe her response was something along the lines of "No! No! Never ever!"

I am really trying to cut down on the raised voices around here, so I took her hand to lead her to her room. She went limp, so I picked her up. I managed to make it upstairs before she managed to squirm out of my arms. I picked her back up and placed her on her bed. As I was setting her timer, she ran past me into the hall and bolted for my room. The little dickens HID from me. When I found her (she's a good hider), she got three swats on the hiney and I carted her back to her room and increased the time on the timer.

When the timer went off, she came downstairs. I asked her if she had learned anything. No response. Instead she shrilly demanded a treat. Wait, huh? I asked my question again and she said something incomprehensible in whine/wail mode. I told her that if she couldn't talk to me she would need to go back up to her room and think about it some more. At which point she started again with the "No! No! Never ever!" again. So back up to her room she went.

In total, she was up in her room for about an hour for what started out as the tiniest of infractions. Arg! I just don't understand why it has to be so unpleasant.

When I was teaching, I said the secret to classroom management was to maintain the position of head cat. You know, to let them know who was in charge. Hint: it wasn't them. My dad asked me the other day why I wasn't letting Z know who was the head cat. So I said, "Oh, I'm the head cat alright. It just isn't pretty. She is really challenging me." To which he responded, "Yeah, everyone I've talked to about it and I agree that she will be a challenge for her whole life."

Why does that feel like a life sentence?