Though I will try to be discreet, this post is about a delicate area topic. If you are at all squeamish or embarrass easily, I suggest you skip it. Seriously.

I went to the lady doctor last week and was prescribed a course of antibiotics for a minor malady. I had to take a pretty strong one, Keflex (the green ones that smell like poop), twice a day for ten days. Ladies, I am sure you know where this is going.

I woke up on Easter morning suffering from the predictable, if unfortunate, side effect antibiotics have on girly bits. So of course, I wear black microfiber for an outdoor luncheon and really work up a sweat. Because I'm smart like that. Also? I was desperately hoping that I was mistaken in my self diagnosis.

By early evening, it felt like I had poison ivy in a place where no one should EVER have poison ivy. Oh, the agony! Luckily, I had a stash of Diflucan leftover from a previous antibiotic script. Hmmm. It was six-plus years old. Would it still work? Dr. Dad-in-law said it would. And I'd know by the next day if it didn't, so no biggie, right? Down the hatch!

In the meantime, it felt like I was wearing wool undies. I needed a few things for symptom relief while the pill was getting into gear. Unfortunately, the chillies were wired for sound on Easter chocolate and I couldn't bring myself to subject the world to them. T was on duty, but was planning on coming home for his break around 10:00. Excellent! I asked him to pick up some Acidophilus and some plain un-sweetened yogurt. I didn't want to ask him to get the hardcore stuff because a.) Diflucan has always worked for me before; and b.) I didn't want him to burst into flames at the check-out counter.

A few hours later he comes home with a couple of bags of groceries. Desperate for relief, I start digging through them. Aww! How nice! He brought me my favorite cookies! And ice cream to go with it! He is so thoughtful! I find the Acidophilus and am hunting around for the yogurt. It's not in the bags so I check the fridge. I don't see it, so I check the bags again. I notice the ice cream isn't a brand we have gotten before. Wha?

It was frozen yogurt. Artificially sweetened vanilla yogurt.

The laugh I had might have been worth it if the itching hadn't been so miserable. I explained that the yogurt was for, erm, medicinal purposes. 'Artificially sweetened vanilla' was not, in fact, the same as 'plain un-sweetened.' T's eyes bugged out like a cartoon character's as he digested that information. "I just thought you were having a craving. Vanilla is plain, right?"

He still gets points for the effort.


  1. LMAO! That is FUNNY. ;)

  2. Giggles...... You know that you can put the yogurt on the offending rash...... the cold might help and the after taste... Oh I'll stop there........ giggles...

    Well guys try and swear they try but groceries and men don't mix.....

  3. ooh, the poor, poor man. they must all feel like they've walked into some strange secret world they don't know the customs or language of and live in fear of being boiled and eaten at the slightest transgression. ha! at least . . . the ones that move in with me usually do, i make sure of it!
    and it's cute when they try. :)

  4. hi rae ann,
    how are you? thought i'd stop by and say "hi!" and see what's new in good ole texas... ahhhh i'm so sorry, feel that pain it is awful!! why is it that women are blessed with these wonderful "things" and men just don't seem to get them? hmmmm yup again, birth and all the joys of being a woman and this crap too!
    sending smiles and hope the itchy and scratchy is getting better! :)

  5. Funny Rae Ann! I am giggling imagining sticking frozen yoghurt where the sun don't shine... teehee. Blokes!


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