Warranty Work

Warranty Department (WD) - Thanks for calling I.M.U. How may I direct your call?

Me - There is something wrong with my sleep setting.

WD - Describe the problem please.

Me - Well, I'm really tired, so I get ready for bed and lie down. Once I'm there I simply can not go to sleep.

WD - How recently have you purchased a new mattress? Are you dressed comfortably for sleeping? Is your bedroom dark? Is the temperature cool?

Me - Umm, five years ago. Yes. Like a tomb. You could hang meat.

WD - Do you drink caffeinated beverages?

Me - Of course. Mothers of small children run on caffeine. It's never kept me from sleeping before.

WD - Well, you are getting to be that age... Perhaps you could cut back? Only drink it in moderation?

Me - What is this 'moderation' of which you speak? I know it not.

WD - Ahem. Do you have any unusual stresses in your life right now?

Me - Not so much. Let's see... I have a strong-willed first born, a sickly second-born, my husband is a cop, my mom has Alzheimer's, my dad has leukemia, I'm overweight and at risk for all kinds of dread diseases, I'm ready for another baby and my husband isn't. Oh, and I might be moving.

WD - (long pause) How do you feel about tequila?


  1. I say yes to tequila every chance I get. Very sound advice indeed!

  2. TEQUILLA!!! YUUUMMM! Make sure its Patron Silver, pricey but goes down smoooooth.

    You could just make yourself some homemade margaritas (strawberry are my personal faves) But don't get that pre~made mix crap...make your own.


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