Gah.

Parenting a daughter? Fail.

I know that everyone thinks that they have a strong-willed child, but Z has really been showing off her stone-like head lately. While we were in Colorado she had a tantrum of such cataclysmic proportions that her grandmother was round eyed with shock and asked in hushed tones of horrified awe, "Has she done this before?"

Unfortunately, yes.

It all starts so innocently. She asks for something and her request is denied for whatever reason. Then she reacts completely out of proportion to the denial. Which leads to her refusing to do as she is told. She is told the consequence for not following instructions. She not only does not comply, but escalates the behavior, then is shocked when the afore-mentioned consequences follow. Once it becomes clear that I am not going to back down, she switches tactics and demands something else that she can't have at that particular moment and continues to spiral out of control until I am on the verge of tears.

Lather, rinse, repeat. During calm times, she will do this once a month or so. Like she just needs a refresher course on who is in charge. During rough times (ie: now), she will blast off several times per week. Each occasion leaves me kicking myself and doubting my parenting skills.

I long for the simple parenting solution. I hear those radio commercials for the program that "Guarantees that it will turn your child's behavior around or your money back!" but I can't imagine what it could entail that I haven't already tried. Discussing it? Yep. Time out? Uh huh. Take away toys? She never even asked about them again. Take away privileges? Punishes me as much as it does her. Take away dessert? Works, but I hate to use food as a motivator - she'll inherit enough food issues from me as it is! Spanking? She hates it (duh), but it doesn't make her change her behavior.

I feel like I am on her all. the. time. I am so tired of fighting this battle. Surely some wonder mom out there in the blogosphere has conquered this villain(ous behavior). Help!