Dear Tide

Another contribution from my friend Mrs. B. I changed it a little to reflect my circumstances. Remember: this is a JOKE.


Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am a full-time mom, I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood* on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Being a stay-at-home-mom is hard enough** without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

* No husbands were injured in the writing of this letter. As a matter of fact, I just thought it was funny and I am not one little bit mad at T. Geez! Lighten up!

** No hate mail on this, please! I realize staying home with my kids is a privilege lots of moms would love to have. But let's get real: SaHM-ing is hard.